Wednesday, December 15, 2010

An Email from Santa Claus to J-Wunder

Dear J-Wunder,

Cookies and milk.  Mother fucking cookies and goddamn milk. 

Is that all you cocksuckers can think to give me?!  I bring you vcr's, video games, all kinds of shit...and you give me cookies and goddamn milk?!  Yeah, that's a fucking fair trade. 

Did you ever think about a shooter, a few lines of blow, maybe a blow job?  I ride around all fucking night with deer shit hitting me in the face...I'm overweight, I'm constipated and you shitheads give me cookies and mother fucking milk?!

Then I have to go back to the goddamn North Pole and stumble over fucking elves and, hey, you want to know why we have elves?  Because we don't have kids.  Why?  My wife won't fuck.

I'm 300 years old, I've never been laid, and oh yeah, pardon me, there's something else you cocksuckers give me...it's letters...3 billion mother fucking letters!!! 

Merry goddamn Christmas, FUCK YOU, I quit!

Love,

Go fuck yourself

5 comments:

J-Wunder said...

I wish I was joking about this email too.

Brian said...

My dad left us a similar letter...not funny.

J-Wunder said...

Where's the love when you need it right? LOL!

Zara Bell said...

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Edward Quirk said...

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