Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Advice Column: Hot Gamer Chicks Need Love Too

Hey Ghetto Genius,

Hot gamer chicks actually are out there. I am seen here, playing Left 4 Dead with a companion cube next to me, and I am indeed wearing Batman panties. This week I am graduating magna cum laude (haha) and Alpha Phi Sigma which is one of the few nationally recognized Criminal Justice Honors Societies there is. The thing is we aren't always a size zero, we are curvy, witty, intelligent, funny and we are REAL we like sex and are looking for a MAN who can treat us right. Blog about this because I love your blogs man. Tell me why it is I am graduating this week with a Bachelors of Science in Criminology and am tatted, pierced, etc and yet I am single. Go for it.

- Hot Gamer Chick

Dear Hot Gamer Chick,

Two words: Mad Respect.

I'm gonna cut past the foreplay and get straight to the raw doggin'...it's women like you, who men want. It's women like you, who men love. It's women like you, who men want to fuck so goddamn good, that you'll both want it over and over and over again. I'm saying this shit with a straight face too. Real talk.

I read your post on my fan page, and at first I was gonna dissect the living shit out of it. But then I said to my drunk self, "Why? This bitch right here is on point. Confident. Smart. Doesn't give a fuck. Keeps it real. What's not to fucking love about this society of curvy ass bitches who love video games and getting their "smart-on" at the goddamn library? I think I've been to the mother fucking library twice...and that's because it was a fucking field trip."

On a side note though, can I be fucking honest? I'm drunk off some good ass wine and after reading your shit tonight, my dick got a little hard. Not because you were wearing some purple Batman panties (with a picture to prove it). And not because you're smart as fuck and are about to get a Magna Go Fuck Yourself in the Mouth Award either. It's because you're straight-up, 100%, real mother fucking talk and posted on my page what you, and all those dorky ass gamer chicks are all about. How can I not be turned on by that shit? How can I not want to play with your little pearl and Gatorade cap sized nipples (because lets be honest...your nips ain't smaller than a trash can lid baby) after reading the honesty that came from your post? Bitch, you REAL as fuck. And for that, I got nothing but love for you. Mad love. Please note: I'm drunk as fuck so if you think I love you, stop being fucking delusional and just roll with me here, bitch. You good?

Folks, it's women like this broad that men respect. Men love. Men will fuck all hours of the day. Why? Because they don't sugar coat shit. This chick had the straight up balls to post a pic of herself and write a little fucking blurb on how she likes video games but is smart as Albert fucking Einstein and loves the cock. But when she did it, she wasn't a cunt about it. Fuck all that shit. She was real. Not arrogant. Not cocky. She was straight-up, 100. True story.

Now a lot of you bitches are probably mad and are gonna hate on this little gem that goes to wherever the fuck university she goes to because I'm giving her mad love and would probably fuck her into a coma if we met up over coffee and some Call of Duty or some shit (that was a mother fucking run-on sentence if I've ever seen one). Haters gonna fucking hate. But I'm gonna be real...this chick right here, is what I dig. It's what I would take over some cocky ass bitch that didn't know sugar from shit. It's the broad that I'd probably go have a drink with 4 days a week with a little blowjob (as a gift), in between. This right here is a woman. 100% mother fucking woman. You think I'm bullshitting, I ain't bullshitting. Trust me mother fuckers. I'll bullshit about fucking your moms, not this though. Ok, I wouldn't bullshit about fucking your moms because I'd really try to fuck your moms if I could. You're welcome.

Tatted Tits Magee, you know why you're single? Because the men you encounter are fucking stupid. They're boys. They look for a bitch with blonde hair, 5'7", 86 pounds and a brain of a fucking rock to fuck. That's why you're single, pepperoni nipples. I'll be honest...a REAL, smart as fuck, honest bitch is intimidating to a mother fucking dude...especially a little fucking boy who knows nothing better than hooking up with young bitches at a frat party. Men want women. Boys want immature little bitches. You my dear, are a woman. I don't give a fuck if you're not a Top 10 Playboy Playmate...your post alone told me, "This is me...love me or hate me, you ain't me. If you dig my shit, then come get some of this Magna Cum all up on your dizzle...fo shizzle." Amen bitch. A-fucking-men. Again, I'm kinda fucked up right now so I'm spouting off like a mother fucker. But ask me if I give two shits? Hell fucking NO. I'm the fountain of fucking truth, son. Ya heard?!

I'm gonna commend you on a few things:

1) Posting your question and pic to my fan page. Tig 'ol Bitties, you got balls baby.

2) Being real and honest.

3) Letting peeps know you like video games but also like the fucking wang. Mad love that you suck cock, not cockblock. 

4) Are smart as fuck. You said some shit that made me have to go reach for a goddamn Dictionary. Ok, I didn't really reach for one because I don't even own a mother fucking Dictionary. What the fuck does a Dictionary even fucking look like?

5) Getting a degree. Good for you smart little twat. Society needs more chicks like you in this world.

Keep doing what you're doing and stay away from boys who say they're men. Trust me. Dudes front a lot and if there's one thing I know, it's that you can weed out the men from the boys once you can hold a conversation, talk about real world events and know what the fuck you want to do in life. Boys don't know any of that shit, so keep your ears wide fucking open so you don't beat yourself up on why you haven't fucked anything but your vibrator in 3 months. College will do that shit to you. Once you hit the real world with a job as TJ Hooker or some shit, you'll get tons of cock...or like you said, "A man who will treat you right...with his cock." Why? Because it'll be MAN COCK. And trust me, us men fuck a lot better than boys do. My word is bond. For reals bitch. Man cock ain't nothing to fuck with. We do that shit Wu-Tang in the Pu-Tang. Holla at me bitches!

So there you go. I'm drunk. You're playing stupid ass XBox in your panties and we're both horny. Hurry up and graduate so I can stick my dong up in your XXXBox. THAT.JUST.HAPPENED.

You Do You And You'll Be Aight,



ads295 said...

OMG this has to be one of the best posts ever

The Man from Nantucket said...

Simply put:

You're single because the majority of the men out there who share your passion for gaming are so embroiled in that lifestyle that they have absolutely ZERO social skills outside of flirting with their guildmates in WoW. Most, despite what they say, would rather pop a raid boss than make a girl's eyes roll back in her head.

There's nothing wrong with gaming but a lot of these jokers take that shit to an unhealthy level and thereby handicap themselves over it. Trust me, I love me some Star Wars: The Old Republic, but the day it stops me from fucking a Yoga Flame outta my girl is the day I dropkick this motherfucking computer out the goddamn window.

Keep doing what you're doing lady. You'll find a real man, eventually. :D

H-Bomb said...

1) Way to be true to yourself, Hot Gamer Chick! It's hard out there for a lady pimp, right?

2) Thank you GG for letting it be known that real women like real men and there are a few of us real women out there!

This post was simply fantastic!

Kdawn said...

I think this was an awesome post and got me a little horny reading about you getting hard while thinking about her hmmmm... But get ready for all the haters out there gonna be postin half naked pics on your fan page in hopes of a response!
That's a win in my book!!!

Gamer chick~ keep on keepin on! Its woman like us with our curves and natural triple Ds that real mean want and love. Cause we gots the good stuff!! Oh yes!

Anonymous said...

Drop that shorty my number i will fuck the dog shit out of that and eat those fucking batman panties right off her lil sexy gaming ass ...... Holla at some real deal Man Cock baby ..... bocalove@live.com


Ultimadragoon89 said...

New favorite post on this blog.
This is exactly why I love gamer chicks. The are smart, hot, and straight shooters (games as well). Someone send this fine woman my way, I'll show her what its like to date a real man.

Unknown said...

I absolutely love this.. I'm a smart gamer girl myself... and I tell you what.. This post is dead on. I had HELL finding a man. I didn't get it either.
Honey, you have some great self confidence, so never ever settle for less than you know you're worth..
You are my anonymous hero.
J-Wunder: You are amazing for writing this blog... It's about damn REAL women get some recognition...
And for the record, us skinny girls can be smart too. :-)

Angelica Rigney said...

Hot Gamer Chicks ftmfw! Do you girl ;) I love playing video games and lucky for me found a man who loves them too and isnt a pussy who would rather do all those things A man from Nantucket listed. We will fuck some shit up together on XBOX and PS3 and then go fuck shit up in the bedroom. Get it girl! You'll find you one day ;) Just be patient, he's out there xoxo

Jack said...

seems like a cool chick, but definitely not hot. Not hatin', just keeping it real.

Anonymous said...

i totally agree!! i too am a smart curvy chick with tats, piercings and a MAJOR love of cock! college sucked, because the boys were just that, boys. however, after graduating top of my class with two degrees, i started finding MEN. ironically, my current boyfriend is a computer engineer (brains are sexy!!!) who regularly fucks me damn near into a coma!! it takes time to find a real man that can handle a real woman, but when you do, look out!!!!

Blueidokie said...

Jack, you must be a boy! Otherwise you would not feel the need to hate with such a comment. Do you feel better about your boyish self for the comment? Move on Little Dick!

Riz said...

The Genius has spoken!

Anonymous said...

While I am not, nor ever have been a 'gamer chick', I still applaud you. A real woman deserves a real MAN.

Shawn said...

Jack clearly needs a bit of growing up. Trust me, there are plenty of dudes out here who'd be into you. I'd be one of them. And it's not just how you look. Sometimes it's about the whole package. Not just looks. Although, you're pretty damn hawt.
Tons of guys are turned on by intelligence and a good helping of the geek factor. Some of them even possess social skills.

We like real women with curves, brains and confidence to admit what they like. Be it gaming, comics, sci-fi or a good hard fucking. We're into the ink and piercings too.

Trust me, we're out here. The funny part is that we're also single and wondering why.

Anonymous said...

Smart people don't have to say "I'm smart."
Attention-hungry or insecure peep do, though :-/

Reaper said...

Funny how when people post smartass comments they never have the balls to use their names. Always anonymous.

There's nothing wrong with someone saying they're smart if it's true.
Or maybe I should use smaller words so you'll understand them.

SAMOA said...


Anonymous said...

this chick is ugly as hell, if you think she is hot you are either drunk or a fucking idiot

Reaper said...

Ah, another immature anonymous comment. You must be one of those idiots who's only into bimbos.

And I don't think anyone cares about your dumbassery.
If your sole criteria for attractiveness is the physical then you're the idiot.

Reaper said...

REAL men can appreciate a woman for more than just the physical.
But then, I doubt you're a real man.