Don't Fuck With My Cinnabons

Violence is never okay, but a stale pastry can certainly drive some people into a violent rage — especially when you were promised a fresh and delicious airport-quality Cinnabon but all you got was a subpar Burger King castoff.

Andrea Ann McCullough of Charleston, South Carolina was arrested on Tuesday at Burger King when she found that her Cinnabon (which the chain is advertising quite heavily in-store) was "not fresh." When McCoullough was told that this was the only roll the establishment had left — Oh, hell no! — she weighed her options carefully and chose to yell out a measured "I'm going to shoot everyone" before storming off into the night. That could have been all, but McCullough was so incensed (nay, enraged!) by the fast food establishment's lies that she returned to the restaurant and, with her hand in her purse, stated "I'm going to shoot down this place."

The police were quickly called and McCullough was charged with second degree assault. It's not been reported whether she actually had a gun or was just bluffing so the employees would go in the back and make her some more goddamn cinnamon buns. In either case, threatening to shoot anyone over a honey bun with frosting is never an okay option and at the very best, McCullough will never eat a Cinnabon from this particular franchise ever again. At worst, she will spend three years in a state prison. She's out on $10,000 bail.

Correction: This incident occurred in mid-May. Police arrested McCullough this week after tracking down her license plate number. (Hopefully no other Burger Kings were terrorized during this time.)

via - Jezebel

Not All Burglars Are Bad

Chicken: Worth Fighting For

A wedding reception ended in disaster when a family brawl over a piece of chicken saw the bride's sister punched unconscious - by her own uncle.

Krystel Coleman, 29, was left with a broken nose and two black eyes after Curt Hughes, 53,  allegedly punched her at her sister Karyssa's wedding.

The fight erupted when the best man pushed into the buffet queue to get food for his son, which is said to have upset uncle-of-the-bride Hughes.

The 53 year old lorry driver is said to have then hit best man, and brother-of-the-groom, Danny Smethurst, 30, and the bride's father Kevin Coleman, 52.

Ten police vehicles had to be sent to Caldecott Hall hotel in Fritton near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, as angry wedding guests fought in the car park outside the reception.

Even the bride's mother Liza Coleman, 47, was knocked to the ground during the scuffle last Friday.

Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant, then had to drive her sister Krystel to hospital after an ambulance failed to turn up.

The groom, Ben Smethurst, 26, said the brawl started at the buffet table after his brother reached over to get a piece of chicken for his 11-year-old son.

He said: ‘Curt thought he was pushing in the queue, and called him "a fat c***". My brother just told him there was no need to use that sort of language.

via - Daily Mail

She Still Can't Get It Right After 396 Arrests

CHICAGO (AP) — A homeless Chicago woman who has been arrested 396 times in the past 35 years has been ordered by a judge to get mental health and substance abuse treatment.

Shermain Miles, 51, appeared in a Cook County court on Monday, accused of attacking a city alderman. She pleaded guilty to trespassing and public drinking in separate cases.

Judge Peggy Chiampas sentenced Miles to time served after she agreed to undergo a mental health evaluation and get follow-up treatment, The Chicago Sun-Times (http://bit.ly/13zt6Yl ) reported. Miles has been held at the Logan Correctional Center in Lincoln, 65 miles west of Champaign, since December for violating parole.

"All of us are reaching out to you and offering you, maybe for the first time in your life, a hand, OK?" Chiampas told Miles. "But you've got to reach out and grab all of our hands as well."

Miles, who has dozens of convictions for felonies and misdemeanors, thanked the judge for her help.

Miles has been arrested 65 times for disorderly conduct and has used at least 83 different aliases. She's well known among merchants and residents in several North Side neighborhoods, including one florist who called police about her 25 times last summer.

Read more: SF Gate

Perception, Taste, and People's Priorities

Make sure the person you're trying to mug, isn't an MMA Fighter

“Justin” is 6 feet 2, 250 pounds, with a build that looks like it could split open a suit jacket during a particularly violent sneeze.

But the mixed martial arts expert from Des Plaines insists it was his “training,” not brawn, that allowed him to wrench a loaded pistol from the hand of an alleged mugger who had the weapon pointed at his chest Friday night on the Southwest Side.

“I don’t feel like a hero,” said Justin, who did not want his last name used. “Training matters. If you’re well trained, you have a chance to survive.”

Anthony Miranda’s bruised and battered face — and Justin’s unblemished, chiseled one — leaves no doubt about who came out the victor in the encounter.

On Sunday, Miranda, a 24-year-old convicted felon, was ordered held on $350,000 bond, following a hearing at the 26th and California courthouse. He is charged with armed robbery and aggravated discharge of a firearm in the alleged attack. Police say Miranda shot his own ankle during the struggle with the gun.

Justin, who says he hails from Romania, was happy to talk about the encounter, which he said happened around 11:30 p.m. while he was waiting in his parked car for a buddy to arrive. Justin made it clear there would no photographs taken during this interview — not even one that showed only his torso.

Justin said Miranda originally approached him and asked if he could have a light for a cigarette. Justin replied that he does not smoke. That’s when Miranda pulled out a gun and shoved it against the side of his head, Justin said.

“He asked me for my wallet, for my phone and my keys,” Justin explained. “I told him I don’t have a wallet, I only have cash. He cursed me — like ‘m-----f-----.’”

Justin said he handed over the $30 in cash he had stuffed in a his car’s cup holder, but Miranda was not satisfied, Justin said.

“At that moment, he backs up the gun and he racks it,” Justin recalled. “The gun jammed. He racked it a second time. He ejected the bullet on the ground. He went down and grabbed the bullet and said, ‘Look, m-----f-----, it’s a hollow point. I’ll blow your brains out.’”

That’s when Miranda ordered him out of the car, Justin said.

Justin said he looked at the man facing him, pistol pointing at his chest, and was pretty certain he was about to take a bullet.

“I wasn’t scared because I’m trained,” Justin explained.

Justin then demonstrated to a reporter the sudden, rather effective maneuver that disarmed his attacker.

“The round went off,” Justin continued. “I put him down to the ground. He was fighting. He didn’t want to give up.”

But at the same time, Justin said: “He was begging me to let him go. He said he has a baby.”

Justin then kept his attacker collared until police arrived.

Asked about his training, Justin offered only vague hints at his background: “Former military,” “high-risk training,” “Hostage rescue.”

He said he makes a living in a variety of ways: “Sometimes I do clubs. I do close protection.”

via - Sun Times

If it has a hole, it's good to go!

Guess he really wanted that THREESOME.

“A man killed his wife and children after introducing her to a lesbian partner that broke up their marriage, a court heard.

According to prosecutors, James Kraig Kahler wanted to introduce another woman into the couple's sex life - leading Karen Kahler to begin a lesbian affair that he then blamed for the breakdown of their marriage.

A defense attorney for Kansas-based Kahler, who could face the death penalty if convicted, later dismissed that claim as 'a fantasy.'

Kahler, 48, is accused of fatally shooting his estranged wife, her grandmother and the Kahlers' two teenage daughters.

They were killed with an automatic weapon the weekend after Thanksgiving 2009 in the grandmother's home near Burlingame, about 20 miles south of Topeka.

Kahler's attorneys contend he had been mentally ill for months.”

via - dailymail.co.uk

Back from the Dead

JOHANNESBURG (AP)—A South African man awoke to find himself in a morgue fridge—nearly a day after his family thought he had died, a health official said Monday.

Health department spokesman Sizwe Kupelo said the man awoke Sunday afternoon, 21 hours after his family called in an undertaker who sent him to the morgue after an asthma attack.

Morgue owner Ayanda Maqolo said he sent his driver to collect the body shortly after the family reported the death. Maqolo said he thought the man was around 80 years old.

“When he got there, the driver examined the body, checked his pulse, looked for a heartbeat, but there was nothing,” Maqolo told the Associated Press.

But a day after staff put the body into a locked refrigerated compartment, morgue workers heard someone shouting for help. They thought it was a ghost, the morgue owner said.

“I couldn't believe it!” Maqolo said. “I was also scared. But they are my employees and I had to show them I wasn't scared, so I called the police.”

After police arrived, the group entered the morgue together.

“I was glad they had their firearms, in case something wanted to fight with us,” Maqolo said.

He said the man was pale when they pulled him out. “He asked, 'How did I get here?'” Maqolo said. The health department said the man was then taken to a nearby hospital for observation and later discharged by doctors who deemed him stable.

Kupelo, the health department spokesman, urged South Africans to call on health officials to confirm that their relatives are really dead.

The man's family was informed that he was alive during a family meeting convened to make funeral arrangements. They're very happy to have him home, Maqolo said.

But Maqolo said he is still trying to recover from the traumatic experience.

“I couldn't sleep last night, I had nightmares,” he said. “But today I'm much better.”

via - www.buzzfeed.com