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Monday, December 13, 2010

Facebook Confessions: For the Love of...

Dear J-Wunder,

Alright, I have a really big pet peeve that I'm not even sure I should call to attention. But I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, so here it goes:

Stop, I mean STOP with the religious status updates. I know it's the holidays and you have a lot to be thankful for, but fuck, for the love of God (yeah, I said it) - STOP.

I saw a doozie the other day:
Stephanie ****** is so thankful to have such a wonderful life. I am giving God all the glory and honor, the power of prayer is really amazing.

Now please understand, I'm not saying I hate people who are religious, nor am I saying your beliefs are wrong, but Facebook is not the forum to share such thoughts. Your church group is.

Sincerely,
Am I going to hell?


Thoughts from J-Wunder:

Dear Am I Going to Hell?,

This was one of the subjects I was hoping to never touch base on. However, since the topic of discussion has presented itself, I guess I will try my very best to give you an answer without trying to offend anyone.

Do I believe in God? You bet your sweet ass I do.  Have I been to church (by choice) in the last 2 years?  No.  Why you ask?  It's pretty simple...why walk into God's house and burst into a ball of fire for some shit I would rather not talk about right now?

My rap sheet would not only get me struck by lightning but would probably blow up the church instantaneously.  Seriously.

So with that being said, all I have to say is...

Yes.  You are going to hell.  I'll save you a seat on the bus.

You're Welcome,

J-Wunder

4 comments:

  1. Yeah, and I especially love it when they praise God and then in the next status update are saying how their day will go: smoke a blunt, shower, look for a job, smoke some more, have a drink and call it a night.

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  2. Haha! Well said. And when things go right, praise god. When things go wrong, they're blaming him. WTF?!

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  3. I praise god for my blunts.

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