Facebook Confessions: Number Crazy

Dear Mr. J-Wunder,

I really really wish these people would stop playing this dumb f-ing number game already! I don't care what number person you are talking about, what you think of them, it is all just a waste of typing. Are we supposed to be in some great suspense on who they are talking about?? Why do people need to post what they think of someone to the rest of their friends, but they can't even say who it is they are talking about, only say a stupid number??? And the real topper is when they say "ok, last one I swear..." and it's never the last one!!! STOP IT ALREADY!!!!

Until next time,
Please hurt the number game inventor


Dear Please hurt the number game inventor,

#1,204,974 - This is bullshit!  Lets play the game of, "Who gives a flying fuck."  How bout after you do your 25 posts about people that want attention, we do a REPOST this if you're a fucking idiot?! How bout that?  Bunch of fucking yam bags, I swear.

There are a few things I will NEVER do on Facebook:

1) Play that stupid fucking numbers game.  You're fucking up my universe and overloading my news feed people.  You know who you are.

2) Play those fucking games...I don't care what the fucking game is.  It's a game and it's fucking stupid.  No, I don't want to help you grow your fucking virtual crops on Farmville and no I don't want to steal fucking ammo for you on Mafia Wars.  For fuck sakes people.  Access denied.  Oh, this includes you stupid fuckers that like to Poke people too.  The only thing I'm poking is your sister asshole.  

3) Give the play by play on my life.  It's cool to a certain extent, but when you start talking about shit that makes me feel oddly uncomfortable, that's a sign that you need to keep that shit within the comfort of your own home.  Seriously, you look like a dumb ass looking for attention that you aren't getting from your own family members.  If that's the case, go see a therapist and talk to them about how you'll never find love and every person you meet has tried to run you over with their car.  Posting shit like this makes me want to unfriend you and get a restraining order due to your instability as a fucking human being.

4) Act tough via my status.  Yup, I said it.  For some reason, people think they sound all big and bad when they try to talk shit to someone via Facebook status.  They use ALL CAPS and cuss a lot.  You really think you scare people?  Seriously?  Like those words are gonna jump off the screen and kick them in the face.  To those people that have experienced these idiots, don't worry.  I will tell you that they aren't shit and have a bigger bark then bite.  If they are as bad as they say they are, they'd kick your ass personally, not type a 250 word Facebook status on how bad they want to kill you.  So in short, go fuck yourself Terry Tough Guys and Gals.  

5) Get on Facebook at 12:01am to wish my friend a happy fucking birthday to feel special since I was the first one to send that post.  Two words - Dip Shit.  I'm not gonna go on an angry tirade with this because it's pretty self-explanatory.

The numbers game probably started by some idiot that has no job, no friends and hasn't had sex in I don't know...EVER.  I never understood how people have so much time to post so much meaningless shit.  Notice I said meaningless.  I don't mean to hate but I think some people really need to take a good look at themselves in the mirror and ask why?  I don't know what that "why" question should be b/c I'm not the one with the fucking problems or addictions to shit like this.  Yeah I post a lot of shit, but my shit serves its purpose.  That's the difference.

Am I wrong here people?  Do we need to make this an open forum?  The comment regarding this numbers game is beyond valid.  Like "Please hurt the number game inventor" said, "STOP IT ALREADY!!!!"  This shit ain't funny and never was cute.  So stop it now or you'll be left with just relatives as your FB friends.

Just Sayin',

J-Wunder