If there are two things you should know from reading my blog so far, it's this: I cuss a fucking lot and topics of diarrhea and sitting on the shitter, pop up here and there. The discussion of dropping deuce just seemed to happen at that very moment in time, but the cursing, well, that shit is just normal.
I would apologize for this content to anyone reading my blog but if you see a page that say's "adult content...not responsible for...do you wish to continue..." what do you think you're gonna see or read?! I mean, for the love of the fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles guys, don't give me a lecture (or should I say "heads up") on how I could possibly offend people. Reading my blog should make one laugh and say, "Man, this guy is a funny mother fucker!" Or, "Hey Sally, I'm gonna send you a link to this dude's blog...you're gonna either shit or piss yourself when you read some of his posts."
If you seem to be offended at any point, do me a HUGE favor...go stand in the middle of a busy street and please let a cab, bike or bus hit you. Notice how I didn't say, "hit you and kill you" b/c that is just fucked up and demented. I don't roll that way. I actually have feelings.
I really just tell it like it is. What has irked me even more about me posting this, is that I just wasted perfectly good blackberry thumb strength on some bullshit I shouldn't even talk about. Man, I'm angry today. But don't fret, once I get a nice hot cup of coffee, drop anchor (that means taking a shit...and yeah, I just made "dropping anchor" a new term), and drink some water, I'll be all good!
Oh, big ups to those avid readers out there. And those that plan to boycott this amazing blog, two thoughts: 1) Go have sex with your mom, 2) Next time I see you, remind me to teabag you.
2 comments:
I love it when I see others who cuss as much, if not more than I do...is it bad that I am a woman?? Oh well, who gives a shit!
I am a typical "Southern Lady" and even I think you are so funny I have literally almost peed my pants reading your blog. In fact, true story, I just had surgery and was reading your blog in bed and had to stop b/c I laughed so hard it hurt. My boyfriend reads it too now. But my point is you have a gift, all of your writers do so carry on. People dont have to read if they dont want to (they will be missing out if they dont!).
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