Don't say NO to this guy

Mario Francisco Hernandez, 22, probably figured his marriage proposal was a lock. He and his 21-year-old sweetheart already had two kids and were living together. So he showed up at the Burger Stop where she worked with a bouquet of flowers, intent on popping the question...

But we're guessing Mario was in the doghouse, and this might have been his dimwitted attempt at making up by going for broke. He asked for her hand in wedlock, telling her he had a ring on layaway, which generally isn't as romantic as having actual possession of said ring. Weirdly enough, the woman said no and walked away.

Mario, whose IQ can likely be measured by counting his limbs, wasn't happy about this. He returned to his car -- which had "Will you marry me?" painted on the back window -- and revved the engine. Then he tried to run the woman over on the sidewalk.

Once again, Mario discovered this wasn't his lucky day. He didn't hit the woman, but he did ram a delightful streetscape planter. Police later found his abandoned car with two flat tires. That's when they also found our pathetic Lothario, walking nearby with the bouquet of flowers still in his hands. He was subsequently charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

FAIL