An Energy Drink Gone Bad

"Alexander: Four Lokos made me shit my pants, cheat on my wife, and buy $2k worth of potato chips online."

"Fajita Ray: One night I chugged 1 1/2 FourLokos. I woke up at home like normal. On my bank statement showed I went to 6 bars that night ten miles away. I don't own a car."


"Cincinnati James: Four Loko is a timemachine... that only goes to the future."

"Bern: I not only puked all over myself, I also shit the bed. It took me 5min of constant loofa stubbing in the shower to get all the dried shit off my legs and ass. The funny part is... It was not my bed. Or my shower. Or my loofa."

"Jay: To all the haters who don't drink Loko, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat."

"4 nigguz wit 4 loko: yall nigguz dont even kno shit. me nd ma nigguz tre, pookie, nd dequan drank 3 4 lokos each in n hour nd got in ma whip to hit da clubs fo some hoes. after an hour in da club ma nugga tre was tryin to be mackin it wit some old homless hoe wit one leg outside da club, yo dat nukka took his dick out nd dat old nigga hoe be givin ma dude head. den ma boi quan be all like damn nigga i gots to be gettin some fo sho bt dat fool ws fucked up im sayin dat nigga was tryin to pull his dick out nd triped no dat old hoe in her whelchar and she tiped ova and bit ma niggas tre dick. quan was gone yo, dat fool was pukin all over dat old hoe on da floo nd tre shit himslf. dem boys cnt drank lik me n ma boi pook, so was like fuck dem drunk ass fools and we hopped in ma whip wit tree fineass hoes and piked up mo lokos and kush n party at ma crib cuz ma moms waz outta towm vizitin ma auntie Babz. mi boi n me nd dem hos was drankin dem on da way to da crib nd afta we got home i donbt be rememberin much cuz i woke up im ma room wit a teletubby costme on nd pookie and two hoes was on da couch neked wit peanut putter n hot sauce erewhere nd dat otha hoe was in ma mas room with ma moms and ma auntie.4 loko be fo real nigguz onle, ya herd!!?!?!"

My thoughts:  As you can see, Four Loko has a tendency to make you shit yourself, black the fuck out, commit adultery, walk countless miles to bars, spell like a 2nd grader, talk like a toddler, and spend tons of money on potato chips (I hope they were Dorito's).  "Four Loko - It's one hell of a drank!"