A Bloody Good Time

scarred for life: so it was my first semester this year in college, and i was gettin rowdy drinkin 4 four lokos. I go out of my room after 2 and im feelin nice. i drink the last 2 and hit up a party and find this girl who looked hot but in reality she was fat and ugly, like a 2 out of 10, i bring her back too my room and we started havin sex and thought i was some kind of pornstar so i go two knuckles deep in her ass with my fingers. then i think shes real wet and after i finish, inside her, i realize this bitch had her period ALL over me, then she starts blowin me, with blood on my dick, and i get freaked out and run outta the room naked with blood all over me, i just happen to run into two campus police officers and they draw their guns on me cuz they literally thought i killed somebody. i spent a few hours in the campus jail until my friends came and explained what happened to the officers. its safe to say i will never drink four lokos again.

Four Loko User of the Day

Ian Cross: I got drunk on beer and whiskey. When we went on a booze run we decided we need energy. We decided on Four Loko. One of those bad boys sent me into a downward spiral. First, I fought a door. Then I got into an arguement with my roomate about nothing. I gathered up all of my hygiene gear, a Hajii rag, an 8 intch knife, and a bottle of mustard. After throwing all of my hygiene gear into the river, I wrapped the Hajii rag around my head like a terrorist. I found a tree that i didnt like, sprayed it with mustard, and proceeded to knife fight it for about 10 minutes. I disapeared. I found out later that multiple cop cars were on the look out for me for about an hour. I forgot why i was mad at my roomate and started back. thats when I was arrested. Damn fuzz finally got me. My roomate magically showed up and started yelling things like,"TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!! IT LOOKS BETTER ON COPS!!" I didn't have the knife on me anymore so they had to let me go. Colonel Mustard, in the quad, with the knife. Game over.

An Energy Drink Gone Bad

"Alexander: Four Lokos made me shit my pants, cheat on my wife, and buy $2k worth of potato chips online."

"Fajita Ray: One night I chugged 1 1/2 FourLokos. I woke up at home like normal. On my bank statement showed I went to 6 bars that night ten miles away. I don't own a car."


"Cincinnati James: Four Loko is a timemachine... that only goes to the future."

"Bern: I not only puked all over myself, I also shit the bed. It took me 5min of constant loofa stubbing in the shower to get all the dried shit off my legs and ass. The funny part is... It was not my bed. Or my shower. Or my loofa."

"Jay: To all the haters who don't drink Loko, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat."

"4 nigguz wit 4 loko: yall nigguz dont even kno shit. me nd ma nigguz tre, pookie, nd dequan drank 3 4 lokos each in n hour nd got in ma whip to hit da clubs fo some hoes. after an hour in da club ma nugga tre was tryin to be mackin it wit some old homless hoe wit one leg outside da club, yo dat nukka took his dick out nd dat old nigga hoe be givin ma dude head. den ma boi quan be all like damn nigga i gots to be gettin some fo sho bt dat fool ws fucked up im sayin dat nigga was tryin to pull his dick out nd triped no dat old hoe in her whelchar and she tiped ova and bit ma niggas tre dick. quan was gone yo, dat fool was pukin all over dat old hoe on da floo nd tre shit himslf. dem boys cnt drank lik me n ma boi pook, so was like fuck dem drunk ass fools and we hopped in ma whip wit tree fineass hoes and piked up mo lokos and kush n party at ma crib cuz ma moms waz outta towm vizitin ma auntie Babz. mi boi n me nd dem hos was drankin dem on da way to da crib nd afta we got home i donbt be rememberin much cuz i woke up im ma room wit a teletubby costme on nd pookie and two hoes was on da couch neked wit peanut putter n hot sauce erewhere nd dat otha hoe was in ma mas room with ma moms and ma auntie.4 loko be fo real nigguz onle, ya herd!!?!?!"

My thoughts:  As you can see, Four Loko has a tendency to make you shit yourself, black the fuck out, commit adultery, walk countless miles to bars, spell like a 2nd grader, talk like a toddler, and spend tons of money on potato chips (I hope they were Dorito's).  "Four Loko - It's one hell of a drank!"