Saturday BART Ride

It's amazing the people you encounter when riding BART on a Saturday morning.  The people that surrounded me on my way back from the city to the East Bay made me wonder how on earth could a man and woman create these special individuals.

For instance, the lady sitting in front me.  It looked like her hair was made out of yarn, construction paper and hay.  Now how that looks is exactly how I described it.  Yeah, pretty fucked up, right?  The shit didn't move and the texture was breathtaking.  So amazing.

Up next, we have the sleeper.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever see one individual, sleeping with half their body in a seat while the other half was levitating in the aisle way.  It was like I had a free fucking magic show on BART.  And as a special treat, he was sleep talking.  Levitating + Sleep Talking for 30 minutes = A-MAY-ZING!

Our third and fourth special riders were huge fans of hip-hop.  How do I know?  Well, by how high the fucking volume was turned up on their IPods, two cities away could hear what they were listening to.  Yeah, it was that fucking loud.  I was at least 20 feet away from both of them and I could hear two different songs going on at the same time.  The guy sporting Ecko Unlimited looked as if his brain might explode.  Really.  If he were to turn the volume up any higher, his head would burst into musical fucking notes and Kanye West would pop out and give us a free concert on public transportation.

Our other hip-hop fan was much different.  This fan was a female and what I examined from her was interesting.  The more she was "feeling the music" the harder she was chewing the gum in her mouth.  It almost looked as if she was blowing a cock that was made out of steel or titanium.  It really looked like that.  I've never seen someone go to town on a single piece of Double Mint gum in such an aggressive way that it resembled her giving head to Robo Cock.  What also was amazing was the way she moved her body.  I felt like I was at a strip club on wheels.  A free show with a chick fully clothed giving the fans oral gestures of how she sucks the dong.  It made my eyes water.

Four people.  Totally different.  Very Interesting.  That's what I saw, that's what I examined.  Nothing made my ride more entertaining.  Until...

It's not what I saw, but it's what I heard.  A young lady talking to what seemed to be a man that gives her money.  At this point, it doesn't really matter if it was a boyfriend, lover, fuck mate, husband, dad or grandpa...it was someone that helped her out with funds.

"My math book costs me $300 for next semester, that's why I took out that extra money."  Look, I attended one of the best University's in the country.  Sure it took me five fucking years but I got a degree.  During that time, I never...ever, ever, EVER paid $300 for one fucking book.  EVER!  Now I overhear this chick that is attending a Junior College (saw a back pack she was sporting), talking about paying $300 for a math book.  A fucking math book?!  What's worse is that this is a math book that is for a Junior College class. A two-year college.  TWO.YEAR.COLLEGE.  A place where you go to get your GED completed.  If I'm paying $300 for a damn math book, that shit better have equations on how to build a fucking spaceship and a goddamn teleportation device.  That's what that shit better have.  Maybe even some codes on how to hack into the fucking Pentagon.  $300?!  You fucking serious?

I was baffled when I heard this and almost choked on my tongue.  Who was she trying to fool?  Shit, whoever it was, she fooled them pretty damn good.

Saturday BART rides.  Everyone should go sometime.  If you do, hit me up...we can make a day out of it.