(+86): Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
(971): I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
(814): No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
(215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
(714): Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
(305): I want to do you till i can't cum anymore. Till all I get is a little flag that says "bang".
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