BART Diaries: Attention All BART Passengers...

"Attention all BART passengers...I don't do drugs and I don't drink alcohol.  I'm a good Christian man and all I ask are cash donations for those that can help me with a hot meal.  I'm homeless and I had a serious problem before.  Again, I don't want to use this money for anything else, other than eating and getting through the next day."

This is the shit I got to fucking deal with on a daily basis.  Some mother fucker hopping on a crowded ass BART train, explaining to all the passengers how he's down in the dumps and needs money.  Please help.  Once a week if not more.

My ass didn't go to fucking bed last night til midnight.  My ass got up at 5am to start working around 5:45am.  I worked a fucking 12 hour day and now, here I am on the goddamn fucking train with my laptop opened...guess what?  Still fucking working.  You come in and want to ask my ass for some fucking cash? 

I have an idea...how bout you go get a mother fucking J-O-B and earn some shit like the rest of us?  I don't understand how some fucking people become homeless.  I really don't.  It's like how I don't understand how mother fuckers in school got straight fucking F's.  Do you know if you got straight F's that means you are did absolutely nothing in school?  I take that back...that means your dumb ass didn't even attending fucking school.  You were too busy doing stupid shit you stupid shit!  

Do I have money to spare?  Mother fucker, I have money to spare but not for your ass.  How the fuck do you become homeless, again?  What did you possibly do to get that low in your life?  Obviously something because you're begging 1,000 fucking commuters to spare some change and you smell like a goddamn armpit that has seen a bar of soap in 3 years.  No dice buddy.   

"Excuse me everybody but, I'm selling this big ass box of candy for my school.  $1 each.  Please help and support my school."

Here is the kid that walks in once a week after the homeless act and wants us to buy a candy bar so it can help raise money for her school.  What fucking kid makes an announcement to the working community on a fucking train and says, "I'm selling this BIG ASS box of candy for my school"?  And why the fuck are you wearing some shit that strippers wear on Thirsty Thursday's at Cheetah's?  You ain't trying to raise money for your school you little shit.  How do I know?  I don't know, maybe because that box you have is wrapped in plastic with a goddamn tag on it that reads "Item #441930" with a fucking Costco receipt taped to the bottom with a smiley face drawn on.

You think some people on this train didn't try that same shit when they were younger?  You look like a fool trying to pull a fast one on me little girl.  And take that lollipop out of your mouth...sucking on that shit like you've been sucking dick for the past 10 years.  Jesus kid.  Knock that shit off and go put on some fucking clothes for fuck's sake.  Where the hell is your mom kid?  Walking around BART like you're a fucking cocktail waitress at the Bellagio or some shit.

What the fuck is wrong with people sometimes?  Asking for money in a variety of ways.  Fuck that shit.  Get a job people and stop asking for my attention.  

Real talk.