Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Calling All Vegas Lovers...

You know what's awesome? VEGAS. You know what's awesome (this is now a word)? Vegas for Labor Day Weekend. You know what's awesome rest (if you thought this also wasn't a word, it is now) and gives me a boner? Vegas for Labor Day Weekend AND being taken care of by my boy and now yours, Jet Dones. No bullshit, dudes name is Jet, like the fucking Jet. We're getting all Mach 3 up in this bitch.

When I think of Vegas, I think of all these things: Sun - Check. Booze - Check. Bungalows - Check. Money - Check. Sin - Check. Beautiful people - Check. All the madness you could ever imagine and get yourself into - Check mate, bitches. No one can deny a place that gives you all the pleasures in life, right? So why don't you get off your asses, book a flight (if you haven't already) and go to Vegas this weekend or any fucking weekend for that matter. Not only to be part of one of the dopest weekends in Vegas, but, to get the hook-up compliments from the man himself, JET DONES.

Now, before y'all get all cray-cray up in this piece and think you got yourselves a free fucking ride to heaven, sit down, take a deep breath and calm your asses down with all that fucking excitement. Not everything Jet provides is free. However, he will take care of your needs so that your time in Vegas is not only super-fucking-spectacular but, memorable and worth your while.

When going to Vegas, there are some rules you should all read, understand and follow:

1. GIRLS are always FREE. Sometimes with drink tickets, but don't hold your breath.
You could be the duckiest of duck faces or the hottest bitch on earth, bottom line, if you're sporting a vagina, say hello to FREE bitches. Get in where you fit in.

2. NEVER assume GUYS are FREE.
"But I go to clubs for free in L.A." You know what? Since you're boss status in L.A., may I suggest you go back to fuckin' L.A. you broke ass mother fucker?! Just because you may run shit in one place, doesn't mean you're going to run shit in another. Unless your ass is famous or got a special "in" with someone, if you're a dude, assume you're gonna have to drop some sort of dime. No one is saying you're gonna break the bank, but remember, never assume.

3. NO ALL GUY guest list (except for Palms).
Try and have at least an even ratio or better to get on guest lists. Guest list information are to be turned in before 9pm, so let Jet know where you wanna go before then so he can put y'all on. I love rollin' with the homies but for the love of fucking God, if you can, bring broads with you. Unless you're gonna circle jerk around a saltine cracker all fucking night, then don't bring hot chicks. Have fun with "Guys Night Out." Take that how you want to.

4. BOTTLE SERVICE would be the BEST experience.
"But its too expensive." NEWS FLASH: You go on vacation to spend money, not to save it. Realize you're going to spend money on cover at the door and drinks at the bar. So why not spend your money where it's worth spending...poppin' bottles bitches!!!!

5. TEXT only, NEVER call
Promoters/host like Jet never answer phone calls unless they personally know you. If you don't believe me, I've known Jet for a hot minute and I don't even call the mother fucker. Matter of fact, I barely know what the dude sounds like and we're like best friends...brothers almost. Real talk.

6. Jet can book clubs, pool parties, strip clubs, limos, hookers, midgets, you ask and you shall receive. The INDUSTRY thrives off gratuity. TAKE CARE of EVERYONE! What that translates to is: he takes care of you, I expect you take care of him. This doesn't mean, free reach-arounds. Well, unless you're a hot chick, then ok.

Like I said, all you need to do is text him, let him know you're coming and he'll take care of the rest. Oh, and if you're a female, that's even bigger incentive. So to you fellas who are thinking about cruising out, remember, bringing a few ladies along for the ride is never a bad thing. Trust me.

Want table service at the club? Jet's got your back. Need to bypass that long ass line of 500 mother fuckers? Jet's got your back. Anything you need for a weekend in Vegas, ask and you shall receive. Just don't be a goddamn douche. I don't like douches so don't expect him too either.

So don't miss out this weekend or other weekends you don't have shit to do. Head to Vegas. Party at the Palms for Ditch Friday's (especially you ladies). Get hooked up with access to practically any club you want in Vegas. I don't say shit just to say shit. Who do I look like, Casey Anthony? My word is bond. Trust me. Hit up Jet, go get drunk and enjoy the greatest weekend you probably won't remember. Who needs work when you have Vegas.

JET - 702.569.3173


Anonymous said...

I'm planning on going for my 21st birthday. I've got the vagina and I'm ready to get crazy in Vegas. ;-)

Anonymous said...

This Column makes me want to hit up Vegas So. Fucking . Bad. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue, and would likely end up getting roofied in a sketchy fucking club and then waking up in an alleyway robbed of my purse, my underwear and my dignity.

Anonymous said...

Jet hooked it up when I was there almost 2 yrs ago! All truth in this post!

Anonymous said...

Hubby and I connected with Jet in Vegas a couple weeks ago thanks to one of the coolest guys I have ever met in the airplane headed for our trip. He told us to get a hold of Jet and we had one awesome weekend. Thanks Jet.