Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Advice Column: Player's Ball

Dear GG,

How can you tell if the guy you are talking to is a player, but you are unsure?

Dear Person Who Got Straight To The Fucking Point,

There are three types of people:

1) Stupid motherfuckers.

2) Smart motherfuckers.

3) Insecure/Guarded motherfuckers.

I'm going to assume you rank in one of these three categories. Now, as much as this question seems to be an "eye opening" one and possibly confuses and is on the minds of many, realize one thing...this isn't as complicated as you think.

Being a player, whether a guy or girl, isn't dependent on how well they play the person, rather, it's dependent on how well the person believes, is convinced and falls for something that is either A) Bullshit OR B) Real talk.

I've had the opportunity to be that motherfucker to play the fuck out of broads as well as get my ass handed to me on a silver platter. Karma is a bitch, ain't it?

See, being a player isn't hard at all. What it really comes down to is this:

How convincing are you to the person you're trying to play in order to get what you want?

To those stupid motherfuckers, you can say and do the most ridiculous shit and you know what? You will get laid. You will get what you want. And YOU WILL play them so fucking hard by the time you're done with that person, they will look like a two dollar hooker who has been on a month long coke binge fucking 12" inch dicks who has been hit with the ugly stick with occasional crane kicks to the fucking face. Straight up, no bullshit.

At some point in our lives, we have all done something to get what we want. Whether it's give the bouncer puppy dog eyes with a side of extra cleavage to pass the big ass line at the club, to stealing your own mama's wedding ring she got from her mom for some crack rocks that are probably made of rock salt and Ajax, we all have a shady and player side to us. Deny that shit all you want, the truth is, society is fucked up, shady and selfish. Especially you motherfuckers who want to act all wholesome and goody-goody. Y'all are probably some of the worst out there. But I digress...

Real players know their craft. They know how to talk. They know how to act. They know what to say, how to say it and when to say it at the most opportune time to make sure you don't doubt shit about them and what could be. I don't knock real players. Why? Because they know what they want. You're just the stupid fuck who falls for it. See, that's why it comes down to the person who might think they are being played.

Smart motherfuckers don't fall for this shit. And when I say smart, I don't mean a motherfucker who had a 4.2 GPA in high school and throughout college. I'm talking about smart motherfuckers who do their homework. Who can think like a player. Who can act like a player. Who has shady tendencies. Who doesn't fall for your classic, "Oh baby, you know you're the only one for me. You're all I think about" bullshit. Trust me, you know when those lines are bullshit and it's all about getting fucked then being fucked over. Following me here?

This isn't about a woman or man not trusting one another or thinking that they are out to get played. Oh, no. This is about actually knowing real from fake. What does your gut tell you? Can you call them on their bullshit if they really are bullshitting? Do you know them or do you KNOW them?

Insecure/Guarded motherfuckers are the ones players will stay away from for the simple fact these cats are like a goddamn brick wall. They've been hurt way too many times to trust anyone. How-the-fuck-ever, they present a challenge players love. It's like trying to fuck a virgin. They will go to great fucking lengths to get what they want. And when they do and try fucking over that person, guess what? Motherfuckers get crazy. And when they get crazy, tires get slashed. Windows get bashed. Dead rabbits end up in fucking beds. Bitches watch you sleep while carving your name in their fucking arm with a dull ass knife. Don't believe me, try fucking with one of these people. You're welcome.

Some players go to great lengths to play a broad. Some keep it simple. Some throw every fucking line in the book. Some are straight up and honest. The key is knowing who you're dealing with and if you're their prey or princess.

I've played stupid bitches and insecure/guarded ones more times than I can count. Got some battle scars to prove it. I'm talking like bitches got crazy and cut a motherfucker open. True story.

As for the smart ones, I've had limited success. The funny part...they knew what I was up to and flipped the script so hard on me that in the end, I was sitting there with my dick in my hand, laughing because I was exposed and got caught. Remember there is always someone smarter than the next person. You can only get away with so much shit until you meet your match and they are two steps ahead of you. That's why I'm just an up front motherfucker and if you don't like what I bring to the table, then I'll see ya. Nothing is wrong with that so don't ever knock it.

So where do you stand in all of this? If you think he might be playing you, do your homework. That's not saying you shouldn't trust him all of the sudden because if you end up accusing this dude of trying to play you and he really isn't, then YOU look like the dumb ass.

This isn't about him. This is about you, being straight up with him and finding out if it's all BULLSHIT or REAL TALK.

You can't get played if no one is willing to play.

You're welcome,



Anonymous said...

GG strikes again! LOVE.

Anonymous said...

Real talk as always!

Anonymous said...

Preach!!! You're the man with words, J!