An Added Bonus

A Tale of Two Vaginas

Every Man's Dream. This chick has a double fun zone! But does she have a taint?

Hazel Jones, a 27-year-old British woman who went on national television to confess that when she was 18 she found out that she has two vaginas! Siamese twat! The vagina has two faces! Twat Falls Idaho! The Lori & Reba of pussies! Etc.. etc...

On ITV's This Morning yesterday (brought to us by esteemed journal of EVERYTHING that is The Daily Mail), Hazel told hosts Holly and Phillip that she went through most of her life with a double the fun coochie and thought all girls had two like her. When she was a teenager, she even asked one of her friends which hole the tampon goes into and the conversation became so damn confusing that she walked away thinking the tampon is supposed to go up her ass. Holly shouldn't be embarrassed about that. Who hasn't as a teenager gotten drunk on the Tia Maria they stole from their mother's secret alcohol stash in the garage and sat on the bathroom toilet thinking what it would be like to have ass sex with a tampon? Who hasn't turned that thought into a reality and quickly realized they shouldn't have pulled that shit (emphasis on that) out and just left it up there for a medical professional to discover twenty years later during a prostate exam. We all have!

Hazel didn't learn that not all ladies have twin twatties until one of her boyfriends pointed it out to her. That must've been a fun conversation. "Um, Hazel, why are two frustrated and unsatisfied baginas frowning at me instead of one?" After Hazel's boyfriend lovingly told her that her chocha looks like a Double Double, she went to the doctor and found out that she's got two vaginas, two uteruses and two cervixes. Hazel also had to lose her virginity twice to really make it count.

Well, it's nice to know that the power of dual vaginas and two servings of uterus fell into the right hands. If it happened to Michelle Duggar, we'd all be fucked and Arkansas would become the new China.

And if you're wondering why Hazel went on television to tell everyone that she's got a double door vagina, wouldn't you?! If I had a no-no-no-no, I'd be shouting it from every TV show. Correction: I don't think I'd be shouting it from every TV show, because I don't think I'd leave me house if I was able to fap with a rubber horseshoe.

via - D Listed

The Poker Face

20 Weirdest Things Guys Have Said to Chicks in Bed

via thefrisky.com



Sexy times get personal, sometimes a little too personal, especially if you ask Frisky staffers: “What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard in bed?” So sit back, relax, and imagine what it would be like if someone whispered one of these not-so-sweet nothings in your ear.

   1. “‘I love you.’ (It was a one-night stand.)”

   2. “I want to lick your armpit.”

   3. “There was one guy who could not get off without stringing together a bunch of foul words that made no sense as a sentence. For example: ‘F**k whore a**hole bitch f**k c**t p***y s**t!’ So ridiculous.”

   4. “One guy begged me to slap his erect penis.”

   5. “You’re the first biological woman I’ve had sex with in a long time ...”

   6. “My last girlfriend had a bangin’ body.”

   7. “Your ass tastes like butterscotch.”

   8. “I’m sorry, I don’t always cry like this.”

   9. “‘Can I cut you?’ My response, ‘AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!’”

  10. “Can I stick it in now?”

  11. “‘I just want to make you come, Jeanine.’ (Not my name.)”

  12. “Did you see ‘Two girls, one cup’?”

  13. “Call me daddy.”

  14. “You’re like a man in bed.”

  15. “I wanna shave you first.”

  16. “You’re not pulling my balls hard enough.”

  17. “Don’t worry, my mom has heard me have sex before.”

  18. “If we go back to my place, my roommate will totally join in.”

  19. “I met him on an online dating site. We had only emailed back and forth, but he kept saying, ‘I’m a stranger. You don’t know me, I’m a stranger, you don’t know me. I’m a stranger you don’t know me,’ over and over again.”

  20. “‘Could you wash this?’ (Handing me a used butt plug.)”