That just happened!

Last night around 10 pm EST the ticker on the GG Blog ticked 2 Million hits.  I sat there, watching the ticker for a few hours, like it was New Years Eve in June, or some shit. It was a proud moment to watch it roll over. I said roll over.

People ask me how I got started and became a member of the Crew. It's a funny story actually.  Someone I know (who actually can't stand me) posted something from ITMOAGG Fan Page and I slapped my desk in my office from laughing so hard. I liked the page and kept laughing every day. The random stories, funny pictures and the fact that The GG interacted with his fans made me think this guy was not only funny, but real as fuck.

A few weeks later I was on Fakebook and saw that one of my photographer friends posted a picture from an engagement photo shoot she had done over the weekend. The happy couple was standing in an alley in my hometown and something looked verrrrrrrrrry familiar about that alley. And then it hit me. That was the alley that many of us have may or may not have had a sexual interlude in. I sent a copy of the picture to J-Wunder titled "one girl's engagement photo is another girl's sex alley" and from there the rest is history.

As I sit in my kitchen, drinking my coffee and getting ready to go slay the dragons at work, I can't believe how lucky I am to have a friend, mentor and collaborator like J-Wunder. His ability to bring the funny only makes me, and the crew as a whole, funnier. I can't even talk about The Ringer or Anonynmous, because those fuckers threatened to kick my ass if I ever told their secrets. As for L-Train, that is my Roll Dog. I almost killed her when she was visiting me and we haven't told the story yet because she is still in therapy over it. Bitch was warned.

Most of all, I thank everyone who takes a few minutes, hours or what the fucker ever out of their day to read what we have to write and laugh at the shit that gives us the giggles. Even those that don't agree with or like what we have to say, keep reading and keep feeding us. Sometimes the most fucktarded comments are the ones that make us think of funnier shit to write about.

I am excited to see what the future has to bring, if L-Train is going to let me hit it from the back and most importantly, if J-Wunder is going to get drunk and show us his Guamaconda one night. Fingers crossed!

Time to go make the doughnuts!

XO
H-Bomb

2 MILLION UP IN THIS BITCH!!!

If there is one thing that I try to do and do well, it's entertain. I'm not a writer. I'm not even an English fucking major. I'm just a guy who got through life by not taking it so seriously. Because during the time I had a stick rammed up my candy ass, life fucking sucked. I was uptight. Angry. Hated the world. I felt like I hated everything...and everybody. Then one day, I got out of the shower and took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized, I needed to lighten the fuck up. For real. Live life by not giving two shits in the world and just be. Be the guy to entertain folks. Be the guy who doesn't worry about what others fucking think. Be the guy who, at the end of the day, will not lose any sleep over monkey mouth bitch shit because it ain't fucking worth the stress and drama. Real talk.

Then one day, a blog was born. And you know what? Haterade was being served . BIG TIME. I was told my blog was shit. It was pointless. Worthless. Not funny. Every possible negative thing you could think of, that's what I was told. But instead of beating a mother fucker into the ground and feeding them Doritos out of my butt cheeks, I took all that negativity and used it as motivation.

November 2010 results were in, and the stats read: 4,637 hits or some shit like that.

Not too shabby for a mother fucker with an idea to do something some loved and others despised. With that love and hate though, brewed ideas that I knew people weren't expecting - a blog that was different. Not just some fucking picture book of shit 90% of society steals off the internet. Not just some funny video that 65% of people post that is a day late and a dollar fucking short. Not text messages that we already get from a site that probably has one of the highest volumes of traffic of all the interwebs. Hell fucking no. Why be one dimensional? One dimensional has already been done. It has already succeeded. Only a dumb fuck would copy what another site does to a tee and try to find the same results. So why not be a one stop shop with a bunch of shit for a mother fucker to drop in and laugh if they have 10 minutes in their fucked up, hard working day, to spare? That's where it got even better...

From advice columns to random fucked up stories to videos, pics, text messages and hilarious Facebook posts, I made sure I had a site that you could find more shit than a goddamn amusement park.  When that happened, word spread quick. 4K hits increased to 8K, then to 10K, then to 20K. Whatever I brought, I made sure it was good enough for each person to come back for more. And they did...100 times over.

It got to the point where emails were a daily fucking occurrence and "Inside the Mind of a Ghetto Genius" was getting mad fucking love. We posted shit, fans laughed and everything was coming full fucking circle. Fast forward to June 11th, 2012:

Stat line: 2,000,000+ hits

If you were to ask me if the blog I started less than two years ago would ever see 2+ million hits in its existence...I probably would have punched you in your goddamn face then bought you a beer as I proceeded to call you a dumb fuck. That number is fucking ridiculous. Especially since this blog is different and not one dimensional like others I've mentioned. A chance was taken, success was being made.

I got to this point not only from an idea I had for people who needed a fucking laugh, but because of ALL the supporters, Facebook fans and contributors who have kept it real and were able to LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP. However, even though it's no secret this blog is an ENTERTAINMENT BLOG,  there are still some sensitive ass bitches who can't tell the difference between entertainment and some "ABC After School Special" shit. For that, I really feel sorry for you fucks. No one put a fucking gun to your head and told you to read any of this. Hell, no one even told you to fucking like it. But you know what? You always come back for more. If not to secretly love the page, then to critique it. The greatest part? You're really not gonna bother myself and The CREW to take you seriously because again, this is an ENTERTAINMENT BLOG. Bitchassness need not apply. But I digress...

If it wasn't for the supporters, fan-faithful and my CREW, this blog wouldn't be where it is today. We're about to lay some shit down and just get better. Because we have mother fuckers out there who "get it" and appreciate the humor and shit that makes a mother fuckers mood 1,000 times better then how it started. For that, I'm thankful and humble to get all the support from each fan and crazy ass follower.

Truth is, I may not be shit and that's ok with me. However, numbers tell the story. Like they say, "Proof is in the fucking pudding, right?"

I got nothing more to say than THANK YOU and here's to another 2 million and another 5 million after that. Shit only gets better folks. That I can fucking promise you. As long as my contributors and I stay "Ride or Die", you fans are gonna have a lot of shit to read and talk about. My word in bond.

True story.

Much love and many fucking thanks!

J-Wunder

MILLION MOTHER FUCKIN' MARCH!!!!

15 1/2 months. Over 2,000 posts. Love and support from folks in North America, Europe, Asia, South America...hell, places I've never even fucking heard of. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting 1,000,000+ hits, lets alone a fucking thousand. If you saw me on the streets you wouldn't notice me. If you saw me at a bar, I'd just be the fucking drunk guy trying to get laid while stealing the bartender's tips (shady, I know...but mother fuckers are broke these days). No expectations. None. Nada. Zero. Fucking zip.

When you start a blog, you have no fucking idea about anything. I'm talking any-fucking-thing. At least for my punk ass. All you know is that you want to captivate an audience to a point where you want them to come back...even if you have to bribe the mother fuckers with money or sexual favors. Wait, what?! So how in the fucking fuck was I going to do that? How was I, the no-name mother fucker, going to get people to read my shit and come back for more? Then it hit me...ADVICE COLUMNS. FUCKED UP REAL-LIFE STORIES. RANDOM SHIT FROM THE INTERNET. All things mother fuckers find entertaining as fuck, but in one place. One blog. My blog. Inside the Mind of a Ghetto Genius.

The rest is fucking history.

I was going to write some heartfelt bullshit about this and that...along with some other pansy shit. But the reality is, there aren't enough fucking words to show my gratitude to you fucking fans out there. There isn't anything I could do to say, "I appreciate you mother fuckers "this much"." My contributors and I will keep writing, keep posting random shit, just so you can get entertainment on the daily. That's our job...to help each and every one of you mother fuckers escape from the day-to-day bullshit for 10 minutes, any chance you get. This is why we do this. For you amazing fucks out there who need a laugh and a little something to take off the edge.

15 1/2 months ago, I got my first official stats: 4,637 hits. When I first saw this, I took off my clothes, lubed my dong up with mad KY and jerked off three times in a row while listen to porn in the background. I was an ecstatic mother fucker as you could probably tell. Stats NOW...300K hits - in a month. Do the fucking math. Talk about exciting, right? If you think jerking off to four thousand hits in month was a little extreme, try putting a london broil between the couch pads and fucking it like it was the hottest Asian chick at a massage parlor. Wait, what? Sorry, that's for a column I'm saving for a rainy ass day. But I digress...

I ain't shit without all the blog supporters and fan faithful. For you guys to read the whacky and off-the-wall shit my contributors and I talk about, says a whole fucking lot. More than any of you fuckers probably know. Never have I seen an inbox full of advice column questions and thank you's. You people help make the blog what it is. Now, some of you are just fucking crazy and need to re-evaluate some of the shit you send to us. Because honestly, some of you mother fuckers sound a little off and might need to see Maury Povich, Dr. Phil, or just check your ass into a goddamn crazy house...or run in front of a moving bus altogether. Real talk. Outside of that though, you know I have nothing but love for you guys. Even you crazy mother fuckers who can't get enough.

To the haters who don't like what my blog is about...guess what? THANK YOU! Thank you for helping my crew and I get more hits. You may not like one fucking thing about it, but you'll still come back because you always want to know what we're going to say next. It's a beautiful fucking thing, I tell ya.

And for you folks who want to go on a goddamn diatribe about certain columns that are written for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES...here's some advice (on behalf of myself and The CREW): if you think you have better answers, or you don't agree with whatever the fuck we say - CREATE YOUR OWN FUCKING BLOG FUCKMOUTH. We ain't trying to hear whatever the fuck you have to say, so chill the fuck out or move the fuck on. We have haters already, don't be part of the trend. Realize it's jokes, mother fuckers. Grow a backbone and live a little. You came to see us, we have no intention to be involved in whatever the fuck you have going on, so quit fucking up our universe. See where this is going slapdick? Good.

In any event, here's to a million and a million more. To every single person who enjoys this blog for the reasons you fucking enjoy it - THANK YOU. As long as you keep fucking laughing, we'll keep up with the funny bullshit. To my contributors...you know I got nothing but love for all of you and want to have sex with 6 of you. Even you J-Shap, you fucking lesbo. Thank you is an understatement so when I can find the right words to express my gratitude to you all, I will. But more than likely if I find that word, I'll be too fucking drunk to re-remember it. So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is, THANK YOU.

What's in store for 2012 and beyond? Who fucking knows. What I do know is that we'll keep doing what we're doing because we didn't get here by fucking accident. Just make sure you mother fuckers can keep up and spread the goddamn word.

Cheers bitches!

J-Wun and The CREW