Monday, May 7, 2012

What REAL Women Want: On behalf of the 1% of women



J-Wunder's Notes:

A fan posted something on my page and it read as follows:

"Re: What women want.

I am here to commend you on all of your accomplishments. I have been a fan for quite some time now, checking in from time to time, and for the first time I have something to comment on. What women want. Now I’m sure you are thinking to yourself “who the fuck is this bitch” well, I am the mother of all bitches, the CEO of not getting played, and current owner/operator of Real women need a challenge, not some retard trying to be funny whilst maintaining eye contact just to fuck me. Fuck. That. Shit. Now before your defensive skills start working overtime, as I have read they do. Hear me out friend. I am on your side, and I think what you are doing is entertainingly smart. Unfortunately for 85% of your “followers” they are taking what you say and do, seriously, and the females are swooning over your funny, and over honest tactics. Two....three.... clap clap clap. Well done sir, well done. You have conquered the category of the 3’s dressed up as a 9. ;) That’s right. Now I am not saying you are teaching your clientele how to bang the fuglies. I am sure most of these women are beautiful. But guar an fucking teed they are not a ten. A Ten being, funny, smart, sexy, and successful.


The women this is working for are easily amused, and taken down probably because they are so fucking insecure of themselves, they go to the bar every weekend with their friends, beaking about assholes in hopes that one will buy them a drink so it can up their confidence for a couple hours until after “blowing” them...they don’t get the call back unless it’s a 2 or 3am booty call, dragging them along for months on end until she writes in to you to get advice and you set the stupid bitch straight. She got played with, like the nutty putty she is. And hey as hard as it is to admit, maybe I am wrong, maybe men don’t want to capture the perfect creature. Maybe they like taking home tons of women for the fact of “Doesn’t matter, had sex” attitude. Is it too big of a challenge? I’m not sure. Regardless, I was a little upset at the fact you categorized us women, all, easy and mindless. Anyways, if I haven’t offended you and if you’re ever curious in how to take down and capture a perfect 10, I have some great advice on “what a real woman wants” If not, I think you are a very smart man sir. Good luck in your future endeavors, and I hope you end up with a fantastic 10, in which the only thing that is fried in your house, is the bacon she’s serving you rather then the shit in her head.

Love,
Kim. Xxo"


Now, now, now fans...before you guys start to figure out who this bitch is with all her goddamn cockiness, I have to say...I gave her one shot and one shot only to write me THE column of "What REAL Women Want". Because apparently, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about and Miss Perfect 10 is bout it, bout it. So she wrote in and submitted her column and I read it. After this thing that I like to summarize as a mother fucking train wreck of pure and utter arrogance, ricockulousness AND some of the dumbest shit I have ever read, I wanted to post it. Not to put her on blast but to see how her column, "What REAL Women Want" faired up against my column, "What Women Want" with you fans and blog faithful. For those of you who read my column, you will know I stated 5 rules to what women want to keep interest in a guy and come back for more. Not really sure what this fan was reading but hey, I don't look too much into shit I read because I take things at face value. So enough of the chit-chat bullshit...check out what one fan who is by far the 1%, had to say about "What REAL Women Want" and how guys can score a Perfect 10. Nigga please. Get the fuck outta here with this Mickey Mouse bullshit.

Oh...one more thing. For you fans who are in the 99%, feel free to email me your reaction to this column. My blog is your blog. Enjoy!



"What Real Women Want: Prequel

Men - If you haven’t read “Inside the Mind of A Ghetto Genius blog about what women Want.” DO so now - What Women Want

He has some pretty motivational steps you can take to ‘take’ tail’ easily. If you can’t seem to do so on your own. If you have read it, and would like a challenge, Here is your chance!! (challenge - not taking the “sleazy” road out, wanting a woman whom is successful, beautiful, smart and funny.AKA the “perfect 10.” The “out of your league” The “Keeper”...etc) Holy fucking Christ almighty did you just read that right??? Yes you fucking did. YOU my friend might JUST might have a fucking chance that is if you don’t completely fucking embarrass yourself.

Here goes.

Anyone who knows me, knows there is no lack of confidence in my corner, I have an oversized ego that puts Kayne west to shame. Why? Because I have a brain, that I use, continuously.  When I Drink it doesn’t pack up and head out to Merry Fucking Sunshine Lake.  I still have morals and values even though I may be extremely intoxicated, (excluding the teenage years of course. It’s like fucking law to be stupid) unfortunately some female and males never grow out of their “teenage” state of mind. Banging bitches, and being a crazy, clingy, slutty, Titfuck seem to go hand in hand. Men complain they are cheated on, bitches complain they can’t keep a guy, and so on and so forth.

5 Ridiculous easy things a ‘10’ look for BEFORE GIVING YOU THE TIME OF DAY:

1. A challenge. -Generally speaking, we love a challenge, “women love the assholes”..Kinda...Men who act uninterested keep our brains churning.  Women love to wonder. A REAL woman will go get what she wants regardless of your courage.  I am no epic beauty, but I always get what I want. It’s inevitable. Now I’m not saying we don’t like to be hit on, but save it for later. If there is a later.  Do you understand?? Make yourself known to her, but don’t overdo it by trying to be funny, or giving her compliments. Put your guitar in the fridge and play it cool buddy.  Talk with her friends, and make her unaware of what your intentions are. She WILL CUM to you if she is interested. ...haha

2.  Dress Like your fucking Sane. – A Tight V-neck collared crazy printed, button up shirt? really??  Dracula called, and he’s not fucking impressed you’re wearing his shit.  The only reason I’m drooling sweetheart, is because, your crazy designed shirt just gave me a fucking seizure. Manboob cleavage will never be in. if all else fails and you have zero style sense, a solid color shirt and jeans will NEVER GO WRONG EVER EVER EVER.

3. Smell nice. -None of this drowning yourself in cologne that no one has ever heard of, your giving a new meaning to foreign. And it’s not fucking nice. Once again if you have no clue what smells good, don’t ask a friend because he is probably no better off then you, stick to the TV commercials, or ASK FOR HELP. That’s what the sales people are for. Promise.

4. Soberness.-Don’t get slobbering Drunk, if you want date #2. Slurring, not being able to walk, and over annunciating that we are beautiful and you would do anything to be with us, is an instant fuck off. If you’re out with your buddies, maybe a bachelor party, stick with your buddies, you are there to get so fucking inebriated that you don’t know your own name. That is awesome, we respect that, and we’ll laugh at you, but do not remotely attempt to hit on us. Fuck that shit. If you embarrass yourself by hitting on me, whilst so fucking intoxicated you can’t even see straight, it will ruin any chance you have ever had, ever. Even if in 2 months I run into you at a bar and you are sober, and don’t remember completely making an asshole of yourself, I will still passionately hate you. Legit. We are stubborn creatures, and never forget a face. This also works Vice Versa.. If you see 7 or 8 bitches in crowns and having a blast dancing on tables being fucking retarded, don’t bother, Tens stick together and we just want to dance when we are drunk. This brings me to my next conclusion...

5. Don’t fucking touch us dancing.- When the Dj starts playing my girl Nicky Menaj and you see us all run up and start dancing and singing... This is not an open invitation for your dick to grind on my ass. We want to dance with each other... This isn’t a 50 cent music video.. Not every ass needs a dick rubbing up against it; we are not in booty shorts, for that particular reason. REAL women do the grinding on your dick at home, in their booty shorts if and when you ever get to see that day. Like I mentioned before, real women will go get what she wants! If you have succeeded so far in completing the following rules, maybe we have noticed you and maybe we want to dance with you, therefore we will ask. You don’t need to embarrass yourself for no fucking reason.

6. Intelligent Conversation.- I don’t want to hear about the money you make, the vehicle you drive, and how much your shoes cost. If you get the chance to speak with me, start small.  Are you from around here? Etc. Once again, don’t fucking compliment me, there is nothing you could possibly say to shock me or sweep me off my feet on the first meet n greet. Be yourself, if you are funny, be funny, if you are shy, smile be polite, 80% of men fail at this stage because they are trying too hard. Mysteries are the best novels for a reason. Save all your horseshit for at least date 3 please. Because by that time we have already decided whether you are interesting enough to continue to date. And after date 3 if we still haven’t kissed you, or touched you in any sexual way, shape or form.  You are a new friend J Welcome to the friend zone. So ill save you the fucking heart break of making a move, getting shut down and telling all your friends we are a fucking whore slut bitch, and you weren’t interested anyways. (Holding in my laugh) ................................................and letting it out. Shut the fuck up and I’ll call you when I need to vent about something, and you’ll be there, sitting by the phone, because you still haven’t got the hint and there still MIGHT be that chance to sleep with me. Simple.

K. Thanks. Bye.

If you exceed these simple guidelines, congratufuckinglations, you have probably had more than one girlfriend in your lifetime, whom wasn’t a complete dipstick.

Ladies if you are sick of douche bags hitting on you please see my previous note:

Facebook Note 

Xxo K.Doom."

30 comments:

Southern Savvy by Sue said...

Well I still think your 5 rules are the best way to get me. This chick is a bit "touched."

Anonymous said...

K.Doom???? It seemed like she cracked herself up alot, and please for the love of god, if you're going to write a book, make sure you spell check or make words make sense!! Thats one cocky bitch I don't want to waste time meeting and trying to get rid of.

Anonymous said...

I follow you, have for awhile. I rarely comment but this bitch needs to stfu. Who the fuck does she think she is? You are hilarious and right on everytime. Nothing better than a witty,quick and funny man. I've seen lots of bar whores. Losers take them out to the car to fuck. Not every guy is a complete fucking ass hole. I picture thus bitch with blonde overprocessed hair, a shit load of pancake clown make up wearing some I'm a bitch colorful spring dress. Standing there sipping on her cocktail skanking it up. You bitch attract losers. That's what the problem. And the one's that insist they have morals and didn't fuck around in hs are goddamn liars. They are usually the whores. Please bitch go the fuck away! You are pathetic.

Anonymous said...

This bitch is straight up retarded. I like how she wants to have an "intelligent conversation" when her stupid ass can't even spell, and that her idea of said intelligent discourse is "where are you from?" I got some harsh news for this chick--just from the way she writes, I can tell that she is no where close to a "perfect 10."

Also, it is quite clear from her tips that the only places she meets men are in clubs and bars. If this bitch was so classy, witty, and smart, don't you think she'd be getting the dick from other venues? Real confidence works anywhere, be it corporate fundraiser, dive bar, grocery store, or fucking art museum. Grow up, you ditzy slut.

Jules said...

I posted on your FB link. But yeah, what the above comment said. Here I thought I was the only one who thought she was a bit stuck on herself.
Sorry for the book on the FB site. But you asked. I started typing and kept going. ;) Love the column!

Melissa said...

this chick only has it part right.

#'s 2,3 & 4 I can agree with.

the rest:

#5: Please touch me when I'm dancing. I don't go dancing to be with my girlfriends- do I sound like a vag-eating lesbian to you 'let's just dance around our shoes a purses', WHAT THE FUCK?, fuck no. For me dancing is foreplay, and I won't dance with a guy if I don't want him touching me, so you better fucking bring it.

#6: I agree with the intelligent conversation. I don't care about your job or car. I already have those of my own. However I don't mind being complimented as long as you leave the cheesiness at home. Give a REAL compliment, not just something that you THINK will make my panties wet. If I wasn't interested, I wouldn't be talking to you, so let's move on to something interesting...

#1: I have to totally disagree with this one. I don't want a challenge. If you like me, fucking say something. why no challenge you ask? Because I'm a 10 and I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES. I have too much other shit going on in my life to have to waste time figuring out what the fuck it is a man wants from me. If you act uninterested, I'm moving on to someone who is.

'nuff said

Brittany said...

I agree completely with her, so you guys can take her advice or leave it!! We know not all guys are this way, but if you took offense then maybe you are one of these guys!

Zee said...

I loved your 5 Rules, bit I gotta say, with the exception of her number 1, she's pretty damn spot on.

Jules said...

Ok. Took the FB post down and copy/pasted it here....Sorry for the book.
GG, she has it about right. But any fucktard worth a second date knows this shit already. It isn't really new information. I liked her column, but she does seem a bit stuck on herself. I have tons of guy friends and from my gal pal, one of the guys conversations with them, the prettiest girls are the ones who won't tell you they are a 10. The prettiest girls are the ones who don't know how pretty they are. Well, they might know, but they don't act like it. Modesty ladies. Learn it. Live it. Love it. This is coming from a woman who has been invited to 4 bachelor parties. As a guest. I'm that in with the boys. But there are those poor masochistic bastards that love those stuck up, high maintainence, I'm the best thing you'll never get women. More power to them. Good luck with that guys. You do realise that there is a pretty lady who thinks you are the absolute bomb that you don't give the time of day, right? And she wouldn't put you through half the hell that Ms Bitch (the high maintainence type) will. But go ahead with your bad self. Any woman who won't give you the time of day because you don't make X amount a year? Keep walking. Hell, run. Run fast and run far. And I have no idea where the hell she is meeting these men. Some guy comes up to me slobbering, falling down drunk in a bar asking for my number, he's getting punched in the throat. But I'm older, in my 40's, and over the whole bar scene. We do like conversation, we do like you to smell nice, we do like that you dress well. Some of us prefer a t-shirt and jeans to a suit but hey, personal choice. Not every woman wants a challenge. Some of us go for the what you see is what you get types. I don't give a shit what kind of car you drive, how much your shoes cost, what you make. Can you make me laugh? Do you treat me well? Do you try to pick up other women when we are out on a date (yes, it's happened)? Are you respectful? Until it's time to get down and dirty, that is. Your column was dead on too. Be funny, don't be the tough guy, look at her, be confident, flirt. Take the two columns and mash them together with a sprig of humility, and you can have any woman in the place. Truth. You want to know what women really want? From an older woman's perspective? They want to feel special. They want to be told they're pretty, or beautiful, or remotely attractive, depending on what they actually look like. They want to feel like they are the only woman in the room with you. They want you to listen to them. They want to be wooed. Yeah, I said it. Wooed. Not talking shit, I'll say anything to get in your pants crap. Don't tell a woman she could be Playmate of the Month when she is fugly. Women see through that. But if you're sincere, speak from truth and say nice things, you could hit pretty much any ass you want. You got to have game, son. It's more mental for most women. And for fuck's sake, look us in the eyes when you lay your game on us. Hey, you asked for opinions.

just me said...

I actually agree with some of the things she's saying...but rule#5- "Don't touch me when we're dancing"???? C'mon girl, get a grip!!! If you don't want to be touched while you're dancing, then go find a corner and dance by yourself!
I'm not a college graduate, although I am a smart man...I worked two full-time jobs for 30 years and finally retired at the ripe old age of 47!!
Girlie, you need to chill the fuck out or you're going to end up dying alone, with 37 cats as your only companions.

Heather W. said...

Let me start off by saying that I love your blog. Seriously, a lot of my days go from 'holy fuck please somebody just shoot me in the head' to somewhat optimistic, all due to this blog. It's smart, funny and entertaining as it could get. You get an 'A'. Let me also say that I am kinda proud of being able to see almost any perspective. So what do I think? I think you both are saying the same thing...kinda. But the delivery is different. J-Wunder, I think your rules would work on me, for the most part. But -just like you said, females are a complicated sex- it depends on a females mood and what she's looking for. Your rules or tips would seriously work on nearly all women, If you have the CONFIDENCE. wink wink buddy, dead on again! But, for the women that have been there, been hurt and not looking for a fun guy but a man to spend their life with...she's right. Women can get tough and Pessimistic as fuck. Women like that are going to see right past all the compliments, the staring into their eyes and the jokes. They would probably be more insulted than anything. And yes, they will most definitly see it more as them being a strong, smart and maybe even more sophisticated female; in reality they are just done, life isn't fun and they are just going thru the day to day grind with pessimistic lenses expecting every man to be a douche bag. That's it man, all down to a womans mentality and mood. But in all seriousness. Don't grind up on a bitches ass. It pisses us off more often than not. If we want that, we will grind up on your elephant trunk. Unless it is like an elephant trunk, let our drunk assess know if you've got a horse dick, grind away. Actually guys, if your holding a 10 and up. All you have to do is whisper it to us, and with some discretion put our hand on it. We won't even finish the damn song. If you think your bigger than you really are, don't do that, we will laugh at you.

Anonymous said...

Amen sistaa.... I agree with every word! J wun is so real n smooth I have been addicted since day one, bitch makes a couple good points, but sounds cocky! I know ima 10 and just like u i don't plan on ever trying toseek a challenge. U like? Tell me! Don't be shy! Don't be intimidated! Be confident... ill eat that shot up! Makes me bashful lol

Anonymous said...

Forget #1, that's a great way to meet a real asshole. The rest... maybe. But I am smart and successful, and I have been with guys who can't get it up, and a guy who takes a chance to grind on me while I'm dancing is fucking hot!

Anonymous said...

Smh...... This chick is just laughable. The only thing she said that i halfass agree with is the dudes who creep up on you and next thing u know BAM dick to the Ass..... Honestly I hate that. You wanna dance come at me from the front first if I decide I'm interested ill spin that shit around and grind u till u cum on yourself. But don't sneak attack me then I turn around and ur ugly as fuk and dressed like u put no thought at all into whatever the hell that is ur wearing. I know I'm no perfect 10 in the looks department but I know as far as having my shit together I'm a dime plus 99. And j-wunder knows his shit front bk and sideways. I dig chicks I dig dudes I'm an equal opportunist in this bitch, and there's a difference between confident n cocky and even if this chick was fine as hell I wouldn't give her the time of day. Her personality based on this pile of shit she's written sucks.

Anonymous said...

Why do people even rate themselves? Fucking moron 15-yr-olds do that. And insecure, immature adults.

rebel mudhed said...

Women want a man that isn't afraid to be a man...cut the bullshit out...be confident but not arrogant...be sweet but not a smooth talker...keep the mystery alive, its a major turn on to be a little unpredictable. Just don't be an ass...that's the bottom line...and if you can fill out a pair of jeans like Eddie vedder that's a bonus. And PS...guys the little tree hanging in your rear view mirror is not Cologne...spend some money and splash on a little ck one...bay rum is for Cubans and Brut is what your grandaddy wears.

H-Bomb said...

J-Wunder, there is so much I want to say about the fuckery that you just posted, but I will say this: If you ever subject my eyeholes to that kind of stupidity and torture I am going to pluck your ball hairs out one by one. Is this chick 12? Because I am 32 and not one of these GD rules apply to anyone who has ever dated a real man or someone who is of graduated college age. Oh, and tell your mom to stop leaving her panties at my house. It's really not cute anymore.

linabina said...

Hey perfect 10, "soberness?" Fucking really? Did u mean SOBRIETY? That, my dear is an actual fucking word. As for the rest of it bla bla bla... I find that a person who feels the need to articulate what they want to the nth degree spend a lot of time WANTING. I have better things to do, like getting, doing & being. Maybe what you say is legit, but your delivery makes me want to slap you & I suspect I am not alone. Enjoy you 15 minutes of "almost notable" riding on a blogger's coat tails, dumb broad.

Anonymous said...

I don't know where to begin but I will start with however confident she may seem there is some truth in her words but that becomes null and void when the "the getto genius" can't deliver an in bias opinion when the commenter speaks to you in a language you can understandid i don't believe it to cocky per say so much as it is a honest thoughts in an entertaining manner she had to go super Id to get his attention along with many others

Anonymous said...

Agreed. completely!

Rowdy Reign said...

I kind of agree with the MAJORITY of what she said, but it is nullified by the misspelling of NICKI MINAJ and SOBERNESS. -sigh- some people need to go to school. Dumb fucks NO BUENO!

Anonymous said...

Ditto ^^^

Anonymous said...

This lady is a fucking jack wagon straight up. She is a self centered bitch that has no life!!

L-Train said...

So glad your fan faithfuls are smart enough to see this shit for what it is: SHIT. J-Wunder gave you motherfuckers 5 rules. Live by that shit. That's all you need to know. This broad makes my asshole slam shut.

L-Train said...

p.s. If you don't compliment me RIGHT OFF THE FUCKING BAT, keep on steppin'. For real.

Anonymous said...

The post AND the comments made my brain hurt.

Anonymous said...

I can't even read her diatribe of BS. Her misuse of commas is killing me. Learn where to put them,and,where,not,to,put,them!

lovelyV said...

I call capitol BULLSHIT...... I may not be a 10 to everyone but I walk, talk, and rock the fact that I am to lots and who the fuck cares..weather you're a 10 or a 5 bitches love, need, and crave compliments or we wouldn't bother to look our best period ! Dancing yea don't fuckin touch me if im dancing away from you, or your convulsing like your having an epileptic fit....now if i'm backing that shit up you better touch...put it down! i'm interviewing you for a possible wrestling match in a bed. Next..yea muthafucka smell good and I don't mean like a cheese burger.... Intelligent Covo ...its good if you got a small cock, and need to stimulate me in another way...those of you with the hot bodies, nice smiles and tight ass...just stfu go down town and make me purrr..... Ill text you not call if you get a round 2. A challenge no...we are all attracted to assholes its fuckin mother natures way of making sure the strong muthafuckas reproduce and the weak 1's don't.... Think of Caveman yea aaaaaaaa....get me by the hair and make me do what you say...seeee muthafuckin nature! As far as sober you can have a couple drinks..shit you eat pussy better that way

Anonymous said...

A list of 5 with a #6. Reading this was like witnessing a train wreck, I didn't know proofreading was hard. By the way she's obviously an attention whore.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO @ if u ever subject my eyeholes to that kind of stupidity and torture I am going to pluck ur ball hairs out one by one