Monday, August 19, 2013

Advice Column: Dating For The Wrong Cause


So I am in need of some advice, some real true raw advice. I thought who better to ask than J-Wunder and the crew?  So my dilemma is that I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We have a pretty good relationship except for one major issue..he doesn't trust me. He actually doesn't trust anyone for the most part but he doesn't trust me. Now given my history with relationships I can see why he doesn't trust me but I have changed and matured and i wanna spend the rest of my life with this guy. Now I know you're probably laughing at me for saying that but its true. Now I met him when I was with someone else and that relationship was just a complete shit show and that's where most of the trust issues come from, he knows that I was in a relationship when we met and thinks Ill meet someone else and leave him for them. He has gone through my phone and Facebook while I was either asleep or away from my phone or computer and he breathes down my neck when I am on my phone. He questions me about everyone and everything I come into contact with. Its like hes playing detective. If I go and visit some friends he texts me every 5 minutes and that's no joke and if I don't answer he starts to message me on Facebook every 5 minutes. Its getting a little insane. Besides male family members I have one guy friend in my phone that he allows and as for other guys, I cant have their numbers and they cant have mine. not allowed to have guy friends on Facebook that I may have hooked up with in the past or anything like that. He has made me delete guys because they might try to talk to me because they are good looking and they are my type. I have never gone through his phone and I have never asked to go through his phone or Facebook for that matter. I just need some advice on how to get him to trust me or just what to do. I am completely out of ideas. Like I said i love this guy but I am getting tired of the assumptions and accusations and the breathing down my neck. please help!

Trust Issues

Dear Trust Issues,

I've written tons of columns on relationships and motherfuckers with complete trust issues. Today though, I want to set your ass straight because you're a confused ass broad that needs to see the fucking light. You realize that your man...the guy who doesn't trust you...was peeping game at your ass while you were with another guy, right? He wins a cOckSCAR for Best Actor, wins you over and now he thinks you're some floozy ass bitch he can't trust. This is YOUR MAN. The guy who helped you do your ex-boyfriend dirty. Even if that past relationship WAS a shit show. Same motherfucker you want to spend the rest of your life with, huh? Hmmmm...

Let me be frank. There are two sides to every story, so lucky for you, I am going to base this column from what the fuck I just read.


There are obvious answers to your question we ALL fucking know. However, I'm here to shed light on everything since I don't give a fuck AND am not afraid to tell it like it is. That's why you're here and that's why you need to fucking listen to what I'm about to say.

If you were to ask 1 million people, "Why would you want to be in a relationship?" You would more than likely hear 1 of these 5 answers:

1) I want to find love.
2) I want to be happy.
3) I want to find my soul mate.
4) I want to finally settle down.
5) I'm over the dating scene/drama and just want to be with that one person who I can spend the rest of my life with.

All 5 of these answers probably all mean the same fucking thing. But what you need to realize is no matter how many ways you try to slice it, these are common answers that you'll probably get from a majority of society.

Kudos to you for being with this dick fuck for over a year. And kudos for you maturing the fuck up and making sure you're not that cunt of a girl to do your man wrong. Even though when you were talking to him, you were with someone else. Hey, shit happens and sometimes that's just how things end shitty as it may be.

This is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. The only problem is, he's an uptight motherfucker who doesn't trust you or anyone else within titty touching distance, am I right? You can't walk, talk, sleep or take a fucking shit without this fool breathing down your goddamn neck every second of the day. BUT you still want to be with this guy.




One year and you had the patience or whatever the fuck you call it, to put up with this dude's high school fuckery.

And you're actually asking me how can you get your man to trust you? Sweet Tits, that ship has motherfucking sailed all the way to fucking Guam and beyond. If you have not done anything wrong during the time of your relationship and this dude has been acting a fool, what the fuck makes you think that he's gonna change? You done went from one shit show to another. I don't know how fucked up your last relationship was, but I'll tell your ass right fucking now, this current relationship you're in is some Fatal Attraction "I will kill you in your sleep if you ever talk to another man" kind of shit.

Do you realize what the fuck you wrote me? Look up there again and read that shit out loud ^^^!!!!

What the fuck is wrong with people who date controlling, insecure, worthless pieces of shits these days? Y'all motherfuckers dating blind or some shit?! Is the dick/pussy that fucking good to be that miserable? This cat has a better hold of you than the FBI does on the Italian mob. I'm being dead fucking serious too when I say that.

Any woman or man who let's the opposite sex control their fucking life needs to go ram their fucking head into a brick fucking wall. It's you people who give some men and women a bad fucking name. How do you love someone who makes you delete people on your Facebook page, phone, etc.? Better yet, HOW THE FUCK do you love someone that doesn't trust you?! Someone, please give me a great fucking answer because I'm really dying to know how the living fuck that is humanly possible.

Misery loves company.

If you think for a goddamn inkling of a second that what you have is anywhere near a "good", "so-so" or even "healthy" relationship, please go drown yourself in the fucking toilet at work or college library bathroom. Stop being the dumb blind bitch who is possessed by "love" because Dearest Camel Toe, if that is in fact the case, I hope you become miserable for the rest of your life.

I don't give a shit what this dude has done to make you feel special. No motherfucker that pulls the shit he's doing thinks you're special. What you are is a trifling ass bitch that he will NEVER trust. You can't change any man/woman who has major trust issues (all y'all who are about to comment about this, don't because ain't no one trying to listen to your untrusting ass). I don't give a shit if this fool wasn't hugged enough as a kid or is angry because he's only received two blow jobs in his life. You put yourself in a fucked up situation with a guy who was jocking you while you were with another fucking dude. Say what you want, if he has issues over that shit, tell that motherfucker he shouldn't have spit game if his ass was gonna end up and be jealous.

Love is an amazing fucking thing when it's two of the right people actually doing some real life lovey-dovey shit. What you have isn't love. Hell, it isn't even called serious dating. It is called:


I can't help you until you help yourself and leave this fool. Love?! Bitch please. Wake the fuck up and go be with a man who is gonna respect you and not throw the past in your face. Sure we all fuck up and do some messed up things, however, if you don't give a man/woman a reason to be jealous, then they need to stand the fuck down and check themselves real fucking quick.

I may not know much, but what I do know is that if some bitch tried pulling this shit that's being pulled on you, I'd peace the fuck out...but not before taking all the good shit from their house. Because you know...that's what love is all fucking about.

There are plenty of dicks in the sea. Time to go fishing.



Anonymous said...

not only should you leave this fool, you should leave with no forwarding address. He's as bad as the whiney bitch I left after three months that thought "he should have a say" in whether or not we broke up. How the fuck ever he's worse, cause this bitch may not only stalk you like mine did, but actually try to cause harm. Move out of state with your auntie in bel aire with a quickness. good luck with that shit.

Trust Issues said...

I never see the person who asks the question post a comment..soooo here i am...i am trust issues. i emailed this question to J-Wunder. i just wanted to say that i am taking all this advice into consideration. i mean there is alot more to it but it would've been a novel for me to write and aint nobody got time for that. But it is definitely something i had to hear or read in this case.and to the person who commented above me..i am not in danger no worries on that one. i know how to defend myself and im safe. but thanks for the good luck!!

Anonymous said...

@trust're still blind & making excuses for this cocksucker!!! No matter how much of a "novel" you write that there is more to it, YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT THAT THIS DUDE IS NUTS AND WILL NEVER TRUST YOU! stay with him, and you'll be stupid for settling for this type of relationship (among other reasons) AND miserable "for the rest of your life." Come again? Why did you ask for the advice? Good luck with all of that isssh though bc clearly you're willing to deal with it!