Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The 16 Worst Types Of Selfies

1. The Gym Selfie (Because the checkin isn’t enough.)
2. The Pet Selfie (If you want to post a picture of your pet, post a picture of your pet.)
Unless this happens, then it’s ok:
animal attack
3. The Car Selfie AKA The Seatbelt Selfie (You LITERALLY got in the car and thought, “I look so good today, I better let everyone know before I put this thing in drive and head to my shift at the Olive Garden.”)
car selfieIf you can combine the Seatbelt Selfie with the beloved Shirtless Selfie like this unattractive fella below, you..are…GOLD.
4. The Blurry Selfie (Why?)
edit 1
5. The Just Woke Up Selfie
sleep selfie
Yeah right you just woke up.
6. Or even worse, the Pretending to Be Asleep Selfie. (We know you’re not asleep, asshole. You took the damn picture.)
edit 2
7. The Add a Kid Selfie (Extra points for a C-section scar.)
selfies w kid
8. The Hospital Selfie (A rare gem. The more tubes you have hooked up to you, the better.)
9. The “I’m On Drugs” Selfie (This looker below also qualifies as the Look At My New Haircut Selfie.)
joel selfie
10. The Duck Face Selfie (Hey girls. This doesn’t make you prettier. It makes you look stupid and desperate. If that’s what you’re going for, carry on.)
duck lips
11. The Pregant Belly Selfie (Send this to your family and friends, not the entire Internet.)
Jessica-Simpson-Pregnant-Bikini-PicturesAnd yes, that’s a pregnant belly duck face selfie. It’s the unicorn of awful selfies.
12. The “I’m a Gigantic Whore” Selfie
Nice phone case, by the way.
13. The “I Have Enough Money to Fly On an Airplane” Selfie (AND I own earbuds.)
14. The 3D Selfie. (It takes talent…along with class.)
15. The Say Something That Has Nothing To Do With Anything Selfie (You had a great night? Oh.)
Screen Shot 2013-10-30 at 2.41.29 PM
16. The “I Live In Filth” Selfie (We all make messes, but if you’re going to post your living quarters on the World Wide Web, pick up your damn room.)


Fresh.. said...

i am mad guilty of some of these...lmao! whatever.

SZ said...

Fresh said:
> i am mad guilty of some of these...lmao! whatever.

Look at your damned selfie avatar, Fresh.

People like you say LOL MAD GUILTY, but everyone automatically thinks you're a fucking tool.

Mary Jane Doe said...

wicked good shit!