Thursday, September 11, 2014

Advice Column: There's No Cure For Cuntinitis

Yo, remember me? The guy that sent you all those fucking emails and you got really pissed and posted a rant about me being a little bitch because i broke up with my girlfriend and so on? Probably not. In other words, i'm the dude from Sweden who asked you for advice and shit. 

Anyway, i seem to be stuck in a never ending fucketry of a situation. I've been exploring things and many months ago i decided against my pride that i was gonna try out online dating. I'll admit, i have a massive ego and rejection is something i'm not used to. I went out with one girl i talked to for a while but there was no chemistry, nothing. The bitch kept saying she wanted to see me and i thought of it as ''she wants to go out again'' which took me by surprise because i'm always underrating myself. 

So from all of that, i went for a good night kiss on the second date in which she turned the cheek, i knew it was over after that. I later got a text saying ''i think we should be friends'' and i basically told her to go fuck herself. I'm not really the type of guy to have female friends, unless i can fuck their friends or they can buy me things. 

So i sit here now knowing that online dating is a bunch of bullshit and a waste of time looking at mails you wrote to a bunch of women and not getting any replies. I have the confidence to talk to women, but my ego of being told ''no'' and my lack of dating in general has made me ask you what to do. So pretty much what i'm asking is can you help me on this whole dating thing? Because i don't really wanna be in a relationship, i just wanna fuck as many girls as possible as fast as i possibly can.

 After meeting a fucking feminist and hearing things like ''Men are disgusting pigs and only rape women'' i have become less sympathetic with women and their emotional needs. So tell me what to do, how do i get back to scoring some and where do i meet them? Except bars and parties. Thanks for reading this fucking long ass email, it was your blog that made me change for the better. Looking forward to hearing from you. 

Dear Musti from Sweden,

Do I remember you? Of course I remember you. You're the cool fan with some fucked up problems. Makes me think you're on your period half the time, brotha.

This is like the 3rd, 4th or 5th time you've written me, so I think after this, if you can't follow what the fuck I say, then you're on your own, homeboy. I take it you don't like to follow directions, huh?

I read your email the other day and will do my best not to slay the fuck out of you with my response. No promises though. Let's begin, shall we?



There, I said it.

A lot of folks reading this are probably saying, "Amen, J! What the fuck is this dude's deal?" I mean, come the fuck on,'re about as insecure as a chick with an eating disorder. Being confident when talking to women is different than THINKING you're confident when talking to women.

You got some serious issues man and hopefully, what the fuck I'm about to tell you lightens and wakes you the fuck up. Because no woman is going to put up with your Mickey Mouse's happening to you right now. Real talk.

See, you're going about this shit the wrong fucking way. You're a dude that likes pussy. Congrats. But when you act like a Monkey Mouth bitch who acts like women are the enemy, you lose, amigo. Pussy is power and women know that. You need to calm the fuck down and tell your insecure bitch ass ego to do the same. What you have are constant expectations of what you want to happen, but give no time for shit to transpire. You think just because some broad emails you back from some bullshit online dating site, she wants to fuck you?


This is where I see your immature side. One that bitches don't tolerate unless they're just as fucked up as you are. *cue chicks nodding in agreement as they read this*

I get you don't want to be in relationship and just want to fuck mad bitches. Did it ever occur to you in order to do that, you need to sack the fuck up, be a man and just be you? Fuck your ego. Fuck your feelings. And FUCK what YOU want. Life doesn't work that way, homeslice.

You want pussy? You better fucking work for it. If you don't want to work for it, then pay for it. It's just that simple.

Ladies want to be treated like ladies. They want a dude to actually ask them how THEY ARE doing. They want to know when a man talks to them, he is actually interested. Bitches want to laugh. They want their minds to be stimulated. If you show a woman it's all about YOU, good luck finding a relationship, let alone some skank hoe who actually will make you work for the pootie. Broads know when a dude is just looking to fuck. A majority of women know the dumb ass pick-up lines, the meaningless bullshit coming out of a man's mouth and what their intentions are based on body language, eye contact, conversation and overall chemistry. Now, by no means am I sticking up for women, I'm just stating factual shit about females and what the fuck they are all about.

I suggest you back up the fucking truck, take a good look at yourself in the mirror and get the fuck over yourself. I was just like you when I was like 15 years old and realized that being a cuntboy wasn't going to get me anywhere. I changed my way of thinking and appreciated the fact that if you can't grab a woman's attention, it's probably because 1) You're a fucking douche, 2) You're boring, 3) You have nothing to offer, 4) You are trying way too fucking hard, 5) You are not their type. I will bet the goddamn house AND the kitchen sink the reason you constantly strikeout with bitches is because all 5 of these reasons...add in the fact that you act like a twat who gets offended when rejected, the result is you on this losing end, brochacho.

I don't know how genuine you are or how sensitive you can really be when a girl talks to you. All I know is that whatever you're doing, ain't fucking working so change up the game plan, son. All this uptight, I have this ego, blah, blah, blah bullshit makes you not only unattractive but, one not to approach, date or fuck. You want truth? This is about as true as it's going to get.

Talking to the ladies, dating them and getting laid isn't fucking rocket science, dude. Stop being a girl and over-analyzing every fucking detail. That's what is fucking you up. Take rejection like a fucking man. If you want to complain and tell every woman to "fuck off" because they don't want nothing more than a hi-five, then get ready to die alone, playboy. Show some goddamn humility and take it for what it's worth. Instead of you acting like a bitch and doing the same fucking thing over and over again, how bout you accept what went wrong, change it and try a different approach.

You think people want to fuck missionary style for the rest of their lives?


So wake the fuck up and prove to yourself you aren't a douchebag who is sensitive when broads tell you to kick rocks. For the love of fucking Jesus the Gardener.

Realize and recognize,


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