Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Advice Column: Cheating Ways

what do you say to a guy who breaks up with you because he thinks you cheated and wont "be a woman and come clean" and after you find out he had been sleeping with your sister for a year behind your back? Then goes around telling everyone he knows that you cheated and wont admit it, also adding names like slut and whore and trash to the gossip he is spreading. Just want your opinion on the guy in this case, need some honesty here. 

Dear What Do You Say,

First off, we are going to ASSUME you were a good girl and never EVER cheated. That said, let's begin.

I say fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

FACT: Everyone who is anyone at some point in their life, has insecurities.

It doesn't matter what it is, there are things that people can't handle that makes them not trust. Why? Two things: 1) Because they were fucked over and hurt in the past or 2) They are guilty.


You're angry but let me tell you something. Don't be. This guy isn't any means. He is a guy who got so deep into cheating on you that he went into crazy mode thinking what he's doing, you're probably doing too. His way out of this whole mess - breaking up with you and making YOU look like a two-timing cuntface whorebag who loves dick so much, you decided to make it a religion and ride and suck it every chance you got. Pretty fucked up, right?

I would be a little more sympathetic if the guy was screwed over in the past and had insecurities from that standpoint. But I don't. Fuck him and fuck the fact that he was fucking your sister for a year...behind your back, nonetheless. Now, blood is blood but don't think for a goddamn mother fucking second you can't be mad at your whore of a sister because you can and you should be. Does this mean you shouldn't talk to her forever? Not necessarily. What it does mean though is that you find out why the fuck she did it and who was the mother fucking culprit to pursue all this madness.

And don't fall for her bullshit lies of "It just happened," "We were drunk," "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you cared so much about him," "I figured you two were a little rocky and it would be over soon," "He told me you two were over,"...should I keep going? Selfish people look out for themselves and they make up more lies than Manti Te'o's girlfriend. Wait, what?

The lies and deceit this fool pulled on you is unacceptable. Sure he's making you look like scum of the earth but the reality is, if you let it get to you, then you will look guilty. See, that's the beauty of trying to call someone out when they know they are in the wrong. It's about reacting how they think you're going to react. If you act like a crazy bitch when someone confronts you about it, then guess what? Everything he says sounds valid. Doesn't matter how pissed you are, he set the stage for you to be that crazy, cuntface, deceitful bitch. You either be the puppet while he plays puppet master or you say "fuck this shit" and cut the goddamn strings.

Everyone will have an opinion. That's fucking life. It's up to you though to either react to those opinions or just let them be while sticking to the real truth and be cool while talking about it when confronted. The shitty part is that your sister is in the mix and can be used in all kinds of fucked up ways. How so? Simple. Since you were "cheating," she consoled him and was that shoulder to cry on. Result - FUCK FEST CITY. She liked him and told him "my sister has been unfaithful" as a way to get to his wang. Result? You guessed it...POUND TOWN EXPRESS. Regardless of the excuse and why it happened, it happened and two mother fuckers are to blame. Just so happens they beat you to the punch. That's the fucked up thing about relationships these days. People want to be in them but can't even stay committed. Dumbest fucking thing I have ever seen or heard. But hey, that's what happens when you run into needy mother fuckers who want their cake and eat it too.

Consider this situation a blessing in disguise. Sure you were hurt by not only your fuckmouth boyfriend at the time, but your own fucking sister. That's a stab to the heart right there. Does this mean you shouldn't trust anyone again? No. You're smarter than that. You just happened to take a chance on someone who was more pathetic than you could have ever imagined. But again, that's life and like I've said before, "Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want." Let that shit soak in a bit so you fully understand what the fuck I'm preaching.

Some men, like women have their own agenda. In good relationships, you're included. In bad ones, you are just another box that needs to be checked off the list.

Don't be that box. Just have yours pleasured from time to time.

My advice is always free.



Anonymous said...

Genius. Pure fucking genius! Love.

Unknown said...

Just pure awesomeness!

Nonna0111 said...

Preach it J!

Anonymous said...

I want your babies. Amazing!

Anonymous said...

"If u act like the crazy bitch then everything he says sounds valid" I am taking that advice & adapting to my situation - pure genius!! Cut the goddam strings!!! :D

Anonymous said...

I can't believe someone would fuck a sister's boyfriend. Fucking scandalous! What a CUNT. I hope the sister gets herpes of the pussy, anus, and mouth. Dirty slut. As far as the ex-boyfriend, not surprised. Move on, honey. Find a MAN. Not a sissy lala bitch that can't control his dick. Fucking pathetic ass mother fucking bitch.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh...what can we say! Fabulous as usual. Somehow you always make us realize it's the asshole not us. Why do we want to blame ourselves and feel bad!?

Anonymous said...

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want" - Fucking LOVE IT. Truer words never written. Thanks JW- needed that today!

Anonymous said...

That is so completely awesome!!

Anonymous said...

Great advice! It can be so hard to take the high road, learn the lesson and mosey on down the road. Society wants you to freak out and scream. That just messes with YOUR head. I hope you'll take it for what it is and continue to explore the rest of this crazy ride we call life. <3

Anonymous said...


SayMyName said...

I never understand why people often get mad at only one person when someone cheats. It takes at least two to do the deed, and more often than not, all side parties inlovled know that they are doing something wrong. In this situation, the boyfriend is a colossal douche, but I think the sister is even worse. She definitely deserves the broomstick in the ass that karma has waiting for her.

Anonymous said...

I needed that. I always get upset and fly off the handle when a man accuses me of something he knows d@mn well I didn't do. Not anymore I am cutting those strings baby...tonight!