Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Advice Column: The Doomed Relationship



Hi J-Wunder,

Let me know what you think about this.

Background: I been with my man for about two years now and I been with the kid since he was broke, skinny and had no car or license. Fast forward to now, he's doing way better but the relationship sucks and it's pretty much sucked since day one for me. I don't get what I put into the relationship.. cook, clean, buy this guy shit etc.. He hasn't had sex with me for months. Last time this happened about a year ago I brought it up and we were drinking so I guess he got the courage to let me know what was up, he said "you gained weight and I'm not attracted to you anymore". Well then.. realistically I didn't even realize I gained weight. I was about 155 lbs and 5'4", right now I'm about the same, weight nothing has changed and no sex. Now, what kind of dumb shit is this, really? Should I stay with someone so superficial? Should I believe the kid that he ain't fucked me because (his reasoning now) because he smokes too many trees and can't fuck? Is this a guy thing? Not to be attracted to your girl anymore because he gained some weight? I'm choked and don't know how to feel. I've been ride or die to my man, love him unconditionally and found him cute regardless of how bummy and skinny he was/will be.

Thanks in advance,
I just wanna cry



Dear I Just Wanna Cry,

I don't know why men and women stay with one another when they know they get treated like shit. Fuck all the excuses and definitely FUCK your logic as to why you're with that person. I mean, you've been with this cat for two goddamn years and you flat out said that it pretty much sucked for you since day one? What kind of Mickey Mouse shit is that? And you want me to feel sorry for you?

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!!

There's two problems here and I'm gonna breakdown both of them. You can choose to either listen to them and take it for what it's worth OR keep doing what you're doing and still live a miserable fucking life with you, your pencil dick boyfriend and your newest vibrator you're one QVC episode away from buying for Christmas.

Problem #1: Your boyfriend

Let's be honest. He's a dick. But an honest one. Now, there's a good chance he could be lying when he said that he's not fucking you because you gained weight. FUN FACT: Men will fuck a woman if they get the opportunity to. Don't matter if you're ugly, blind, retarded, gained 20 pounds...whatever. If they can get hard and there's a wet vagina nearby, we gonna be fucking. Real talk.

For your boyfriend to tell you that and still be with you in a relationship tells me a few things:

1) He's content and lazy as fuck.
2) He probably can't get hard.
3) He grew a vagina and is afraid to tell you.
4) He knows he's ugly, has no game which makes him insecure, hence, why he stays with you. You're about as good as it will get for him.
5) You take care of him no matter how much of a dick he is to you. We call these type of women one thing - WEAK.
6) All of the above.

I will tell you right now this isn't a guy thing. See, guys who do this type of shit aren't men...they are boys who don't know sugar from shit. Your man doesn't know his head from his ass and doesn't know how to show appreciation if that shit fell right in his lap. You can't even get a measly pity fuck. That ain't right, yo!


Problem #2: YOU

That's right. You're the second goddamn problem to this equation. What woman gets in a relationship that she knows she screwed in and does it for 2 years? You know what kind of woman? Dumb fucking broads, that's who. 2 fucking years you're with this clown and you do everything for him and you can't even get a piece of ass? You serious right now? What woman stays with a dude like that? My guess are women who don't have confidence, are co-dependent, weak, delusional, naive and stupid as fuck. Don't take this the wrong way and get mad at me for calling it out but come on, sugar tits...read what the fuck you wrote me and ask yourself, "Do I really want to be with this guy?"

Fuck all this shit about how much you love him and that you've been with him for 2 years. Length of relationships these days don't mean jack shit. There are people who get married within 4 months of meeting one another and are better off than the couples who have been together for 5 years. Why is that? Because some fucking people stay together just to be together. Because they are comfortable. They feel obligated. They find excuses. They don't want to be alone. The are so-called "happy" a majority of the time when we all fucking know that is the biggest crock of shit you could EVER bring to the table.

Lady, shame on you for staying with this fuckmouth and double shame on you for writing in and asking for advice when you should damn well know what the fuck to do when you know you are getting fucked more ways than just a dick in your ass. What are you? 10 years old?

WAKE THE FUCK UP and ditch this dude. Why should anyone feel sorry for you when you've put yourself in this situation and are finding excuses to stick around. If your man has been with you for 2 years and he hasn't fucked you for months, let alone, tells you to your face the reason why he isn't banging you is because you gained some weight, then you gots to fucking go. No woman should be told that...especially if she wants to fuck AND she's your goddamn girlfriend. Free pussy doesn't come around too often for men. Especially if you don't have to do much to get it. Am I right, fellas?

This ain't about you being a ride or die, unconditional, lovey-dovey bullshit of a girlfriend to him. This is about you being in a relationship you didn't want to be in and holding on while this dude that calls himself a man, treats you like shit and is there for some spaghetti, meatloaf, Tuesday night tacos and free cable.

STOP THIS SHIT BECAUSE YOU LOOK STUPID, STUPID.

I'm Out.

Happy Holidays,

Ghetto Genius

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nailed it! Honey get out while you still can! I ended up having a child with my dead beat, and it took me almost 5 years to get away from him. Now I'm a single mom who has to count on my parents for help, since the father is useless. Run! Run before it's too late!

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Anonymous said...

"Don't matter if you're ugly, blind, retarded, gained 20 pounds...whatever@ - Dude. this just can't apply to all women - some are just too fat or too ugly or too psycho straight up and you know it :) give guys the benefit of being categorical at least sometimes
if you're fat - you're fat - you know what I mean :)