Take One For The Team, Mom

Kool-Aid, Burgers and Weed

ST. PETERSBURG — Jarvis Sutton said he wanted three things Sunday: food, drink, and drugs. He asked the wrong people for help getting those items, though. Police said Sutton, 34, of St. Petersburg, called 911 approximately 80 times on Sunday. "The defendant admitted to calling 911 because he 'wanted Kool-Aid, burgers and weed to be delivered to him,' " an officer wrote in an affidavit. Sutton never got those things. Instead, he was booked into the Pinellas County Jail. On the way there, he started chewing foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser, an officer wrote. Sutton faces a charge of misusing the 911 system, and was in jail Tuesday in lieu of $150 bail.

via - Tampa Bay Times

I Need Weed

The Ninja's did it...

No means Yes

"I'll take a dime bag of stupid"

Checkmate bitches...

Oh, my arthritis...

OCTOBER 19--A Florida Keys woman caught with about seven pounds of marijuana in her car told police that she was not trafficking the pot, but rather needed the large stash to counteract symptoms from her rheumatoid arthritis.

Not buying that shaky explanation, cops arrested Lillian Jennen, 56, for felony drug possession.

Acting on a tip that Jennen was transporting marijuana, Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies stopped her car Friday evening as it traveled southbound on U.S. 1 (she was not wearing a seatbelt).

During questioning, Jennen seemed “nervous” and “her hands were shaking and her respirations appeared to be rapid,” according to a sheriff’s report. A deputy also detected the smell of “fresh marijuana.” Which, of course, resulted in the search of Jennen and her 1998 Saturn SL.

As seen in the above evidence photo, deputies seized a cloth bag containing five marijuana bricks. Two bags on the front seat contained a total of $5070 in cash.

During questioning, Jennen, pictured at left, “admitted to having seven pounds of marijuana in the vehicle that she paid $5,000.00 in Miami.” She also told deputies that she “suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis and uses the marijuana to relieve her pain.” She added that the recovered cash was intended for the purchase of additional pot, but “she changed her mind and decided to only buy the seven pounds.”

Jennen was booked into the Marathon Jail on a drug possession charge. Released on her own recognizance, she was also issued a seat belt citation.

Jennen has not previously been arrested in the Sunshine State, according to Florida Department of Law Enforcement records.

via - The Smoking Gun

Just Blaze...

Yeah, that's definitely weed

I hate when I forget my IPod when I commute to work b/c now I have to pretend that I'm reading something interesting on my Crackberry so no one will get the chance to talk to me. This is shitty b/c the doors to where I'm standing are fucking broken so now, I have to lug my happy ass 2 doors down. Luckily, there are a shit ton of seats available. Time to go through the train and grab one. *cue the music* Enter into the cloud of smoke...

Whoa! What the fuck is that? *taking in another deep breath* Yeah, that's definitely weed and the headache I had about 15 minutes ago is now gone. How is every car packed except this one? Oh, must be from the 4 dudes who look like they smoked a joint the size of a wooden fucking bat. Never seen 4 guys so high in my life.

They look like one of those drug addicts on that show "Intervention". They have that look where their eyes are rolling in back of their heads but they still seem to smile as they talk about something you can't understand.

I have Krispy Kreme donuts in my possession and I hope these guys don't kick my ass and take them. They're fresh and smell fucking delicious. Makes me actually want to smoke whatever they had and eat this whole fucking box. Fuck, why did I buy a whole box? Now I'm in danger of getting beat down b/c 4 dudes are high and hungry.

Half this train looks high. Or maybe I got a contact high and think everyone else is high? Someone just walked in this car, took a sniff in the air and smiled. I don't like drugs. Never was a fan. Last time I smoked weed was in '04.  People were floating, my dog was talking to me and I thought I was pissing myself.  True story.  But seriously, that cloud of smoke I walked into made my headache go away and is giving me the urge to eat the 11 Krispy Kreme donuts I graciously decided to bring for my department meeting this morning.

I wish I knew Spanish b/c whatever this lady behind me is talking about seems pretty intense. I'm trying to translate and I think she's trying to tell someone how to kill a turkey or a pig. I know it's not a dog b/c "perro" is dog in Spanish. That I do know. I also know "cerveza" means beer. Beer kinda sounds good right now. A really cold one with some chips and salsa.

I have a buddy named Salsa. That's his last name though. Man, what I'd do for a fucking sandwich right now. Or some fucking baby back ribs. Jesus, am I high? No way. I'm thinking about it too much, right?

Lady just walked in with her kid. In a matter of 25 seconds, she's yelled at her 90 times for being a kid. Good parenting mom. If I could have guessed, I would have thought you were getting off your shift from the corner. Do you really need to look like a whore carrying your kid around? The clear high heels, black dress that doesn't fit and the smeared mascara kinda gives it away.

The smell is going away finally. Why am I laughing right now? There's nothing funny except those 4 guys who are high as hell with their eyes still rolling to the back of their heads. I hope they're not dead. They look like they could be but dead people don't smile right? Well, unless you died while boning someone. A Mother Theresa look-alike just sat by me.

This is my stop. Time to get off. Just in time. BART Police are here.