Social Networking: Your #1 Source Of Sensitive Bitches

Social Networking is one of the most powerful things in our world today. Think about it. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, individuals can connect with one another by logging onto Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, even motherfucking MySpace and communicate whatever the fuck they want...all within a click of a button. Mind blowing, isn't it?

I've been blogging and doing the Social Networking thing for almost 6 years now. And in that time, I've been fortunate enough to have a limited amount of negativity come through each post and feed. How-the-fuck-ever, it seems the longer I've been doing this, the more and more I'm noticing how individuals are becoming a bunch of fucking pussies because all of the sudden, they've become sensitive to what is being posted.

If you're offended by this, I'm talking to you Monkey Mouth Bitches who need to find a fucking job and/or hobby.

It is a damn shame how society has become sensitive to EVERYTHING.

When I say everything, I mean, EVERYTHING.

If these pussies aren't crying about some meme, it's a status someone posted. If it's not a status, it's a fucking video. And if it's not a video, it's some bullshit that comes out of nowhere that doesn't sit well with them.

NEWSFLASH:

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

You want to know what's wrong with people that post whatever the fuck they want? It's the sensitive ass motherfuckers who bitch, moan and cry about it because they have nothing better to do. Don't blame this shit on the person who is posting whatever the fuck they want. Why are you mad or upset at them or what they post? Oh, let me guess...because you have sand in your vagina? Maybe you have nothing better to do than nitpick at all the shit you hate about life? Wait...wait...maybe it's because you're just a dumb fuck who never was hugged enough by anyone? Am I getting warm?

To all you sensitive ass pussies out there, let me break it down for you so you understand why we despise and dislike a majority of you...

If you don't like something, why the fuck are you friends with that person? Why are you following that certain page?

Do you think the world revolves around what the fuck you like and what makes you laugh? I sure hope not because if that's the case, do us all a favor and go find the highest mountain and jump off that motherfucker, motherfucker.

All you bitch made ass individuals who don't like something, here's something that works so you don't get all worked up and report it to the Social Networking Police:

IGNORE IT.

You don't like something? Ignore it, motherfucker.

Move on with your life.

Why?

Because every motherfucker who takes a post for what it is, has moved on before you even logged on to see the post that made you state your case on why you're such a whiny little bitch.

That post is racist? Did it ever occur to you, that almost every motherfucker in our world is racist? Now, I'm not talking KKK racists, I'm talking about how we say shit (maybe not in public) that we don't mean, but is racist.

For example, bad drivers...who are the first people you think of? You guessed it...Asians. Shake your heads all you want, I know 98% of you either said some shit about Asians being bad drivers or at least thought about it. But do we all laugh about it? Fuck yes we do. Well, at least the ones who know it's a joke and not a fucking dick because they aren't taking it so hard.

Black people. Yup, they love chicken, watermelon and malt liquor. Guess what? I too like chicken, watermelon and malt liquor. Does that make me black? Does that mean the world is gonna fucking end with a Civil War and riots? No you dumb shit. Let me guess though...I now hate black people, right?

White people. They love Nutella, wear Uggs and probably make Wonder Bread want to turn brown. Why so fucking butt hurt? Oh, let me guess, because you're white and the quota of white jokes should have stopped at the first meme with the dad wearing Crocs telling Buford how he loved Tom Jones, huh?

Mexicans. They are notorious for being some of the best landscapers on earth. Why? Because they are. And guess what? No motherfucker is gonna argue about Roberto fucking up your property...LIKE A BOSS...because if you did it, it would look like a goddamn war zone that someone shit on.

Do you see where this is going you sensitive ass bitches?

That's the problem with some people that are members to these networks...they don't know how to fucking laugh at a joke. You think the bubble you live in is the real world? Fuck no it ain't. You are just a stupid fucking individual who doesn't know what reality is. See, I post shit because it's funny and every one of my fans can relate to it. Whether it be about every race in the world or me making fun of myself, my following knows how it goes down. That's why I've been doing this for so long and my following has stayed with me since day 1. Because they aren't a bunch of punk ass marks who think it's ok to laugh at this, but not ok to laugh at that.

However, I do have those cunts who show up and want to cry about whatever I post...reasons stated above. For that, I just say, "Well bitch, you followed me, I have no fucking clue who you are, nor do I give a fuck. Thanks for following. The unfollow button is to your upper right."

That's the difference between people who get it and people who don't.

The people who get it, they have a good life. They like something they see, they "like" it, leave a comment and move the fuck on with their lives. The ones who are outraged, well, we know where this is going. Let's not even give them the time to explain since the ones reading this are like, "Don't even say it J...I know, bruh. I know."

It's like those who post all this political shit that I see on my NewsFeed. I'll be honest, I could give a fuck about talking about religion and politics. Why? Because at the end of the day, we're all gonna agree to disagree. I think there are more motherfuckers out there with no education (especially with no college degrees) who think they know more about politics than actual politicians. That's why I ignore every fucking posts that has to do with politics because in my heart, I know my friend that just posted that, is one of the dumbest motherfuckers I've ever met AND just because they read some shit from CNN or Fox News, they are all of the sudden, an EXPERT.

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

If I don't like something, I ignore it. That's the beauty of Facebook and all these other fucking networks...you are free to say and post whatever the fuck you want. So why be a bitch ass cunt and show the world why you don't agree with what is posted? Oh, because it's your right, right? Personally, I think you can take your right and shove it right up your ass and leave it there til someone cares. That's just me personally.

Whatever happened to when EVERYONE just laughed at shit?

Now, everyone is sensitive, a racists, a cop killer, blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

The people, like myself, who have a purpose to want to make people laugh aren't the problem with Social Networks. The problem are the motherfuckers who claim we're the problem.

Hater Nation, do us all a favor and be a behind closed doors hater. No one gives a flying fuck what you think. All you do is take up meaningless space when you post a comment then get served by fan faithful like mine to bring your bitch ass back to reality.

Our society needs to go back to laughing and not taking shit so goddamn seriously. It's these sensitive folks who are ruining a good thing and that my friends, is not fucking cool.

But hey, who am I to say what's good for people, right? I mean, I'm a racist, awful, human being who just wants to make the world laugh...one post at a time.

PSA: So You Think You Met A Fuckboy?

Dear GG Fam:

Have you or one of your squad fallen victim to a Fuckboy? Do you think you or someone you know may be vulnerable to Fuckboys? Did you wake up this morning, and say to yourself, "Self, I think I just fucked a Fuckboy?" 

Do not fret, my pretty, because it is not your fault. If you or one of your homegirls has been or is currently being fucked on by a Fuckboy, it is because Fuckboys are replicating at a rate faster than that of chlamydia during spring break. You see, before, you could tell a Fuckboy from a first glance - his Affliction shirt, day-glo orange tan, car that overcompensated for a small penis - the obvious Fuckboy give-aways. But today's Fuckboy has become faster, swifter, cleverer (but not really) and all-around, fuckier. Today's Fuckboy has a certain way of getting past Fuckboy radars of yore. Or women, as a whole, are getting dumber. I am going to go with what is behind door number 1, Bob. 

I will admit, I have seen some Fuckboy fuckery firsthand, and will now breakdown some of the more common species of homofuckboyious, more commonly known as "Fuckboy."

1) The Married-Man-Fuckboy:

This is the Fuckboy who is currently explaining to his wife why he has an Ashely Madison Account and his browser history is full of a website called backpage.com. Because trolling for strange punnany on Craigslist is so circa Fuckboy 2010. No, this Fuckboy thought he was going to have his cake and eat it, too, but that Ashley Madison tricked more Married-Man-Fuckboys than Thai LadyBoi in Vietnam into them thinking they had their Fuckboy game on point. However, now that the Ashley Madison spot has been blown up, I think we are going to see a The Married-Man-Fuckboy kick it old school. With the advent of the internet, we saw a downslide of skeezy men in bars, hitting on unsuspecting women, with obvious wedding ring tans and game so smooth, Billy Dee was getting the vapors in his no-no parts. Beware of The Married-Man-Fuckboy, and all of his "my wife just doesn't understand me like you do" bullshit game. And remember, Fuckboys, ain't shit, like bitches, hoes, and tricks. Ba-LEED-dat. 

2) The Convenience Fuckboy:  

Did you change your name to 7-11? No? Hmmmmm. Well, this type of Fuckboy is under the impression that you are there for his convenience and amusement. The real shittery of this Fuckboy is that this one isn't always about sex/dating. Maybe this Fuckboy thinks you may be attracted to them, so they, in all their Fuckboy bullshit ways, figure out a way to manipulate that to their gain. This Fuckboy usually also suffers from another disease, called hand-to-pocket disease. Are they down on their luck and need a good friend "to help them until they get back on their feet" or some other such monkey-mouth-bullshit? This Fuckboy is almost the worst of all (but wait, you will meet the worst soon), because they know all the right buttons to push to get you to buy them dinner, take them to concerts, wine them, dine them, but ain't no one 69-ing no one. Take this simple, one question "is this a Convenience Fuckboy" test: when you ask Fuckboy to hang out, do they always have some excuse or fuckery in their life, but when they want something from you, they call/text non-stop, until you breakdown and give into whatever it is they are wanting to do, but just don't seem to have the funds, a ride, or anyone that actually wants to hang out with their Fuckboy ass? You know the answer, sister girl. Rule numero uno: Fuck bitches, get money. NOT Fuckboys fucking on bitches and getting money, rides, dinner, movies, etc. If they want to treat your ass like an amusement park, charge that Fuckboy admission. Change your name to Busch Gardens. Stop shaving your pubes. Go fucking nuts. But, don't get tried by a Fuckboy anymore.

3) The Zero-Fucks-Given-Fuckboy: 

You must be so careful of this one, because the Fuckboy is so strong in them, they actually don't have any fucks to give, or so they would like you to believe. The Zero-Fucks-Given-Fuckboy is a borderline narcissist, if not a complete narcissist; that is another reason why you have to be uber-careful with their trickery and devil-penis-sorcery. They will lead you down a path of roses and sunshine, making you believe that they are in it to win it, and saying and doing all the Fuckboy Shit to make you think they are, on some level, picking up what you are throwing down. Then, as fast as you can say "abra-ca-Fuckboy" they pull one of their zero fucks out of their messenger bag of bullshit (because you know this Fuckboy is probably a hipster, on some level) and ghost your unknowing ass. And you say to yourself, "Self, did I just get played like the Ravens did by Oakland last Sunday, by this Fuckboy?" Now, here is where this Fuckboy gets their name. This kinda Fuckass-Fuckboy-Bitchface McGee earned his rep as the Fuckboy of Zero Fucks, because he will ghost your ass and then do some nefarious fuckery, like tryna get with one of your homegirls. He will give Zero Fucks that he is tryna kick game, and poorly, with your mothafucking bestie from the jump. He will pay no mind to the fact that he KNOWS that your ride-or-die bitch is going to send you screen shots of your conversations, and he will KNOW that she knows that you know that he knows he is spitting the SAME.EXACT.GAME to her. Because this motherfucker gives what? ZERO FUCKS. You almost have to admire his tenacity in being a Fuckboy. Nahhhhhhhhhhh. Fuck this Fuckboy, right in his Fuckboy dumper.

4) The Back-and-Forth-Fuckboy: 

Oh, this Fuckboy. This motherfucking Fuckboy. This is the worst of the worst. If the 3 aforementioned Fuckboys got together for a circle jerk in hell, and by some sort of slut magic produced a baby, it would be this Fuckboy. This guy, because he is not really a Fuckboy at first, doesn't even know he is playing games and dipping his toes in the pool of Fuckboy. Y'all meet, you hit it off, you start a thing - dating, fucking, beastiality (I don't know your life), and then shit starts to get real. And that is where Mr. Nice-Guy becomes The Fuckboy of all Fuckboys. He likes you, but he is not ready. He still has feelings for his ex, but you know, he is feeling you. He wants to be single, but he LOVES spending time with you. He likes you, but just can't do another long distance relationship (but will hang out, fuck you like it is his job and he is picking up a paycheck on Friday, and still tell you he adores you). He got baby momma drama, so he gotta keep you on the DL. I can keep going, but you get it. I get it. We all have gotten this or some sort of foolery equivalent to this before. You want to like this Fuckboy, too, but at the end of the day, if he is spitting this kind of foolishness your way, HE IS A FUCKBOY. The end.

I know, you are probably wondering how I know so much about Fuckboys? Well, you see dear heart, I am a Fuckboy magnet. Most of these scenarios mentioned above are ones that I have experienced or witnessed first hand. So, please, take what you have read to heart, and when you see the tiniest glimmer of Fuckboy beginning to rear its fugliness, you can pick up your Michael Kors tote and beat that Fuckboy within an inch of his life. Whatever you do, do not fall prey to his Devil-Magic-Fuckboy ways. There is not enough Rose and weed for those broken hearts. Trust me.

I would drop the mic here, but instead I am going to swing it and see how many Fuckboys I can knock out with it.

XO

H-Bomb

PSA: A Tale Of Two Crazies

Without a shadow of a doubt, there are always two sides to every story. ALWAYS.

Now, here at Ghetto Genius, we get hundreds, if not thousands of emails from people all over the world looking for advice. When we get those emails, we find one thing in common with all of them.

IT'S THEIR TAKE ON THE SITUATION.

98.938393% of emails we get NEVER have the other side of the story. Why would someone do that, right? I mean, we all want to look like the saint. The one who isn't so fucked up with major issues.

As bloggers, it's our job to take what is put in front of us, whisper to ourselves, "Damn, these motherfuckers are way more fucked up than me," and give advice based on what is presented in the email, our experience if we possibly have been through that same type of situation and what we would do if we were that person writing in. Sometimes shit gets off point and we just go on tirades. Motherfuckers just need to get over it. That's the card you're sometimes dealt with.

Today, I want the dedicated fans, the followers, the newbies and the Ghetto Genius blog lovers to know that when you write in asking for advice, it's NEVER a two way street. Sure there are always two sides to every story, but when you one provide one, EVERYONE, including yours truly, is going to judge the fuck out of YOU or the person you're bitching about.

I'm gonna give you a perfect example:

About two months ago, a chick wrote in needing help. Apparently, her boyfriend of 3 years, who she has two beautiful kids with, is fucking up her universe. Like most couples, they argue, HOWEVER, they NEVER come to a resolution. She craves space, he wants to be connected to the hip. He works and provides for the family. She slaves at home with the kids all day. He wants to spend time with her at home, but when they're together, he's usually playing video games or watching tv. She wants to spend time with her friends. He's jealous and a control freak. She isn't about this life anymore. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

That's just the Cliff's Notes version, people.

Reading this, it became apparent, that this broad was troubled as fuck. A controlling and jealous man not letting you do shit? Man, he must be a motherfucking asshole! What man would do such a thing? By the sounds of your email, you're a goddamn angel that can't spread her wings. Cooking, nurturing, cleaning and slaving all damn day?! That just ain't right. This chick is one female that every GOOD man would want in his life, right?

My girl, H-Bomb, responded and came to the defense of this broad because of course, the person writing in made it sound like she was living in hell with this man and needed some sort of solution. We kept it real and responded with such things like:

"When a man wants you to spend all your time either with him, or taking care of your family, and doesn't want you to have any friends, hobbies, or interests of your own, that is not a not a boyfriend, that is a warden. Did you write this letter from a lady's prison? If so, I am gonna need some Orange is the New Black lesbian love stories, too. Cus that shit is hot. All kidding aside, people in prison actually have more freedom than you. They can have visitors, human interaction, and time to themselves. You have none of those things. See where I am going with this?"

As the world read this, of course, we all felt like this chick was living with some "Sleeping with the Enemy" type motherfucker.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

We say our peace, hoping our advice sticks and move the fuck on. Fast forward to two months later…

I get an email from some dude in serious need of some advice. Been with his gal for 3 years who is still, in fact, married, has two girls with her and another child (from her current marriage) who he treats like his own. Oh, forgot to mention, the 2 kids they have together? With their first son, she faked a home pregnancy test and made him think she was already pregnant. She was not and got pregnant within a few nights after the test.

Dude is the sole provider of the house. While he's at work, his gal is at home watching the kids and doing EVERYTHING!!! She actually bitches to him and says she just doesn't want to take care of the kids anymore. Best part…she just wants to go out and party with her homegirls but that's what bitches in their 20's do. She puts her friends before him, has punched, choked and God knows what else to this cat on a few occasions in addition to getting caught texting her ex while pregnant with their child AND actually tried to sell her panties to folks on good 'ol Craigslist. Should I keep going or do you get the picture? Bottom line, this dude has been through hell with her and after it's all said and done, he's stayed with her and all her fucked up antics.

Talk about a good guy getting fucked over by such an awful person, huh?

I, like I always do, gave this dude advice and basically told this motherfucker to run and take the kids with him. Because if it's that fucking bad and she's that fucked up, why would ANYONE stay with someone like that. Especially when kids are involved. I post my column and send the dude an email to let him know it's posted and good luck because whatever this bitch is doing, ain't right.

Thinking I did some good in the world for some of society's fucked up population, I get an email back from this dude and it said this:

"There's no doubt we are both crazy as fuck. This was just a point to prove that your advice is sound from the perspective of one side. The girl in this story wrote you and you posted as "gone girl gone" basically telling her to get away before I kill her. When being choked, I smacked her off me, so I am no saint. I also burned her shit as she has destroyed my shit too. There are always two sides to a story. So for those who take shit too seriously you should remind the readers every story has just that, two sides. I hope everyone remembers relationships are never just perfect and they take work and sacrifice from both sides. As I say, its a two way road, not a one way street. Take it for what it is. Maybe you post this too, maybe you don't, but if you want to be "real" I would think you would get it up soon."

Now, I don't know what the fuck this guy was thinking. I had to read the email response back like 20 times because what point is there really? Your girl posted two months prior basically making you look like a complete fucking douche while she was Mother fucking Theresa and two months later, you come at me like you're Pope John Paul II and she's the worst cunt in the world.

Hey Sherlock, no shit there's two sides to every fucking story. But when you don't give me and our readers both sides, what the fuck do you think is going to happen? Oh, let's not forget to mention how both of you sad fucks made it look like you weren't the problem. But I go off and give you sound advice and all of the sudden you want to come back with some bullshit how you're fucked up as well?

Brother man, the reality is, you didn't prove any point. The only thing you proved was:

1) You and your gal are both fucked up in the head.

2) You both are fucking crazy.

3) You possibly deserve one another because crazy deserves crazy.

4) You aren't fooling anyone.

5) You both are bad at relationships and probably shouldn't have had kids. Any person who tells you that they don't want to deal with their kids anymore and threatens to overdose on pills, you need to find motherfucker Jesus. Biggest crock of shit I've heard. Keep this up and those little motherfuckers will probably be on Intervention in 10 years.

That was great of both of you to write in on separate occasions painting a very one sided story just to get the answer you wanted to hear, not the truth.

You think this is Jerry fucking Springer?! I bet that's y'alls favorite show though, huh?

If you want truthful advice, especially when you are able to remain anonymous, at least give the whole fucking story. The first step to solving a problem is being able to admit that you had a part in it. Admission is freeing, and if you speak or write what you did, it can make you see yourself in a whole new fucking light. The only light you're seeing is on the tv, amigo. If you aren't fucking happy, do something to change it. Don't just bring others down with you. Two sides to every story. Yeah, funny how you never provided the whole other side, motherfucker.

You do realize in life, it proves nothing if you ask for advice under false pretences and expect to put it to use. That's like the Bride of Chucky trying to use advice given to Cinderella.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!

Let this be a lesson to everyone - If you're going to write in and ask for advice, then get fucking butt hurt because I was too honest, knowing that you know the other side of the story, it might be good to let me know. Otherwise, shut the fuck up, take the advice for what it is based on what the fuck you told me and move the fuck on.

Ghetto Genius - 1

Dumb fuck - 0

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